Daring to Feel: Daryl Dixon
by supernaturaldixon
Summary: Sadie-Mae and Rick make it out of the hospital after a struggle trapped them inside. Together they find their way out and into the world and its new darkness. He's looking for his family, and she's looking to hide, even from herself. Will she be able to make it in this world or will her past be too much for her to overcome? Find out in BOOK 1!
1. Chapter 1: The Hospital

I sit alone in the room with the coma patient, Rick Grimes. I just transferred to this hospital a few weeks ago as a temp receptionist. I looked at his chart and he's been here a few months, his condition not changing since I arrived. I was changing over a room when an incident occurred in the hall. We were prepping and moving patients, transferring them somewhere safer when people started screaming. Through the mayhem, I got shuffled in here and locked in the room with him. I wasn't exactly sure what went down, but the screams for help terrified me enough to not try and get out right away. I heard what the nurses talked about. I didn't own a TV yet, but rumors went around. I'd say it's been a little under 2 weeks, possibly a bit longer since the incident, and I'm getting worried about starving to death. I thought some one would've come by now but everything is silent for get another day. The power has been going on and off as well, the generator using its power to keep an almost empty hospital running, and my cell phone died after a day. It never got any service in this dump anyway. The supplies in the room to manage the patients needs, as well as my own are running thin. Even if I try to survive on what the patient is on, I'd only last an extra 2-3 days and sitting in the same room with a dead body wouldn't make me feel any better about it. I try to push the door open day after day, but it barely budges. I stand 5'8 and 152 pounds. I'm not small, but I'm not big either and I can't get whatever is in the way to move.

Another day passes and I start to get light headed and weak. My body already running on it's own energy so I begin to scrawl out a letter for whoever finds our bodies here. As I try and think of what I want to say to who finds me, the man speaks from his bed grabbing my attention. "That vase. That's something special." I look over to the only vase in the room. It was left for him by a friend. "Fess up, you steal it from your grandma Gene's house? Hope you left her that special spoon collection" his voice is groggy and he coughs as he tries to laugh. His eyes bulge wide when he sees me "Shane?" He questions loudly then looking at the dead flowers next to him. I don't say anything, worried how he might respond and he looks around the room for some one else, possibly the man, Shane, he was just talking to. He tries to stand up, removing tubes from his body but he falls to the ground in a heap at the first attempt. "Nurse. Nurse, get a nurse!" He says through his pain clenching at his stomach. Although I'm at his side, I don't say anything back.

"Where am I?" He says in a whisper now, looking at me confused. I turn to get him some water from the restroom sink. I hand it over to him and he gratefully accepts, sitting up now. He drinks the entire glass and puts it down on the floor next to him and I turn around after grabbing it to fill it again, assuming about how thirsty he must feel. "What happened? Where is the Dr? My wife?" He questions, his eyes looking to mine with concern and wonder.

My mind blanks, not knowing what to say or how to explain things that have been going on. He doesn't accept the glass from my hand, as he's waiting for a response. I put it back where I got it from and adjust myself next to him. I put my hands on my hips, trying to think of something to say. As I wait in silence the power grid shuts off and the generator turns on yet again, using whatever juice it has left. He looks around trying to figure out what's happening and I use this as an opportunity to try and explain things "there's been an outbreak of some kind. Things aren't-- Uhm-- aren't good." I spit out.

"Outbreak?" He asks sitting up slowly. He moves his legs to the ground and when he tries to stand again he jolts forward, his body not use to his own weight. He grabs a hold of the I.V pole to keep his balance and I put my hand on his arm to offer help. He nods his head assuring me he is okay and I release it. The lights flicker now, signaling the generator is about done, out of power. "I need to get out of here. I need to get home" he says to me.

I nod pretending to understand "I can't get it open" I shrug honestly looking at the door.

"What do you mean?" He asks moving closer to it.

"Something is blocking it" I say as he tries to push the door open. He doesn't have a lot of strength and gives up quickly "we're stuck" I say. He gives me a strange glare and walks to the corner of the room. He grabs the silver rod and removes the bag from it. He brings it over to the door and pushes it open just enough to get the rod through it.

"It's a body.." he pauses though, the strange idea puzzling him. "I'll push it with this a little and then you and I should be able to get it open if we push together" he says finagling the rod to move the body. I nod to confirm I understand and move closer to help him. He has pushed the body a bit more from the door as it opens further then it has when I tried. "Okay, on 3" he nods to me "1...2..3" he counts and we thrust at the door together.

It bursts open "finalllly" I say in an exhausted sigh, not realizing how claustrophobic I was feeling in there. I look around and notice the 3 dead bodies on the ground. Rick has moved to the third one by now and checked for a pulse but I assume he knows what I know and that there is no one else in the hospital "we should leave" I say to him lowly.

"I have to get to my family." He comes over to me "what about you? Where are you going to go?" He asks waiting "is it safe out there?"

"Not sure. I just moved to town so I don't know anybody here." I shrug, telling him the truth. I guess I could just go home.

"You can come with me and stay with our family for now, we have the space. It's the least I can do as you watched over me through--" He pauses looking at the bodies on the ground "through whatever this is." He offers. I accept, not caring to go off on my own during this outbreak. I know something happened outside the hospital walls but he's offering me a safe place, and I'd really like to have one. "And thank you for doing that" he says. "Rick" he reaches his hand out.

"No problem" I say back. "Sadie-Mae" I say lowly taking his hand for only a moment. We start to slowly leave the wing we are in and head towards the way out, me leading the way. The flickering lights and damaged hallway makes things creepier then they really are. I can't help but feel like we're being watched. As we get to one of the exits, we notice it's chained shut, with graffiti written on the doors "what the?" I say out loud.

Don't open. Dead inside.

Rick steps closer and grabs a hold of the lock. As the chain jingles something behind the door moans out loud and pushes against it causing it to move, an old hand creeps out of the crack. We both step back startled as the noises get louder and door continues to rock. We know without saying anything that we will find another way out. We make our way to the stairs, using matches we found to light our way down.

We get outside and the light blinds us. As we recede down the steps, bodies are wrapped in cloth covered in blood. Flies eat at the corpses and I feel myself get sick. I try not to get anything on the deceased, but the stench overwhelms me too much to care. Rick continues walking forward, moving towards the exit with out me, his head turning in all directions. I wipe my mouth off and run after him, not wanting to be left alone. I reach the top of the hill where he is frozen, staring past a helicopter and an abandoned military camp.

This whole time they were just outside and no one came to get me. Anger floods me before I realize Rick is no longer near me. I find him ahead of me, reaching for a bike. I run forward again, trying to catch up and I notice as he falls back startled. "Hold up!" I call out to him not wanting to be left out here alone. I know I wouldn't be able to survive on my own.

He turns to me with fear in his eyes and I look to what startled him "what's going on" he asks lowly, straightening the bike as he stands.

"Gross" I say, holding at my stomach again trying not to dry heave. I haven't actually seen what a person who was sick looked like after so long and it's not what I was expecting. Half the women's body was missing but she was still reaching forward at us. "Let's go" I suggest moving forward. Rick nods, dropping the bike and walking forward.

We reach the end of a street and he sprints towards a house! I'm surprised by the speed he has after being in a coma and all, and I try and keep up with him. I reach the front door but don't walk in, hearing him crying out for who I assume is his wife. I walk into the hallway and notice one picture of the man with a beautiful brunette women and a young boy. He walks past me now and out onto his front steps. I follow him out, and take a seat next to him. We sit in silence for only moments before a sound not far away gets our attention. We both look over to a person wandering in the street, looking like he had one too many the night before. He stumbles towards us, and suddenly an object strikes Rick and he's falling over on top of me, pushing me into the ground.

A/N - I hope you enjoyed this chapter. This book will follow the episodes of The Walking Dead Series on AMC. There are some changes so my character fits into the story, but the main plot will stay the same. Please like/comment if you enjoyed it!


	2. Chapter 2: The World as it Stands

"Daddy! Daddy! I got them!" A young boy shouts out loudly!

"Carl. I found you" Rick mumbles out to the boy who hit him.

I try and push Rick off of me but his dead weight is too much and a gun shot goes off. I hear the boy say "I'm gonna kill em son bitches!"

"He say something? I thought I heard him say somethin'?" His father comes over putting himself in front of his son, looking down at us.

"He called me Carl" he answers to his father.

"What's your wound?" He demands, yelling at us. Rick and I stare at the gun pointed at his head "you tell me" he demands "or I'll kill you!" He adds, clicking the gun and pointing it again.

"It's a gun shot!" I holler, Rick now passed out on top of me unable to answer for himself.

"Let's get him off of her" he says to the boy, who puts his shovel down and begins to help his father lift him off of me.

I stand up and wipe the dirt from my pants "thank you" I say, but as I look to them his gun is pointed at me.

"I need to make sure that's all his wound is. You're gonna help me bring him inside" he insists. I nod, not wanting to be on the bad end of a gun. Me and the man lift Rick onto our arms and drag him into a house a few down the road from where Rick was searching for his family.

We get him inside and he ties him to the bed, worried his injuries are worse then just a gun shot wound. "I was stuck in the hospital with him for weeks. It's really just a gun shot" I try and convince him, scared of what he may do with him, or with me. He ignores me everytime I try and just lets me stand in the corner of the room.

"Could've at least changed the bandage, the thing is rank" he says taking it off of him. It's my turn to ignore him and I just stare as he fixes him up, his son in the room as well, blocking the exit.

Afterwards, when Rick begins to wake up, the man tells me to wait with his son in the other room as he handles things with him. When he returns, he informs me that Rick has woken up and will join us all when he's ready. He starts to put food into a pot and cook something. Even before it begins to heat up, the smell makes my stomach turn with starvation and I know I'd eat anything right about now!

Rick walks slowly into the room and starts to talk about the people who used to live in this house. I feel awkward now, knowing that they are probably sick somewhere with whatever disease this is. He tries to look out the covered window, but the word "don't" emits in unison from the both of us.

"There's more them out there then usual. I never should've fired that gun today" the man explains moving the pot of food off of the heat while shaking his head. I'm sitting at a table next to his son, eagerly waiting for food to reach the plate. "The sound draws them in." He adds on.

He sits, serving the food onto our plates. As he does, Rick argues to him about the man he shot in the head. The man insisting he was a walker, a term I've heard twice before this night. He tells Rick to sit down and eat before he falls down and Rick actually listens, slowly sitting into the chair.

I pick up my fork to begin eating but the boy stops me, telling his father to say grace. I connect hands rather quickly with the boy, and wait for Rick to take a hold of my other. He does so hesitantly and after the prayer I dig in, as if I haven't eaten in years. I stuff my face, not caring what I look like to them as the one who cooked explains to Rick how the world is now. Although I've seen some of what he is saying and thought I understood the gravity of what was happening in the world, I don't think I truly believed it was as bad as it sounded until then. After a few moments of silence the man decides to introduce himself "I'm Morgan, this is Dwayne" he says and gestures to his son.

"Rick" Rick returns with a mouth full of beans lifting his eyes. As I continue to shovel the food into my mouth I can feel all their eyes looking at me.

I finish the bite I was chewing and lowly tell them my name "Sadie-Mae." No one else adds anything more to the table as we eat.

I lay on a couch in the room, turned into the back pillows as the boy asks if his father asked him if he was a bad guy. Rick jokes he's the deadliest Dillinger in town but quickly informs us all he is a local sheriff's deputy.

"What about you?" The boy asks, obviously referring to me.

"I'm just a temp" I mumble out, not really having a job to declare. Suddenly a car alarm is sounding off through the silence. The sound making me jump up, along with everyone else.

"It's okay" he assures his son, telling us that it's happened before and it will soon go off.

I walk towards the window to peak out as Rick and the boy dim the light. I quickly find the car that's making all the noise and curse at it silently.

"Won't it draw more?" Rick asks.

Now all 4 of us are pushed against the window, getting a glimpse of what's out there. "Ya, but nothing we can do about it now" Morgan says.

Just then the boy jumps "she's here!" He says afraid and runs away. He begins to loudly cry into the bed and my eyes follow him worried about the sound he's making.

I don't know who he's talking about but I return to the window and look for an actual human to be out there. I only see the dead wandering the streets. I return the couch and put my feet up. Rick is at the door looking through the peephole when the handle begins to turn. He slowly walks back to the cushions on the floor arranged into a place to sleep and sits. "She uhh.. She died in the other room in that bed in there." Morgan begins to tell us while stroking his sons head "nothing I.. Nothing I could do about it.. That fever man. Her skin gave off heat like a furnace" he begins to tremble "I shoulda put her down, I shoulda put her down, I know" he shakes his head "I just didn't have it in me" he wipes a tear.

"He's the mother of your child" Rick says back, probably having a feeling of understanding. None of us talk anymore and I find myself drifting off to sleep.

A/N: Please like/comment, it really keeps me motivated to keep writing 3 Love you all, thanks for your support.


	3. Chapter 3: Separate Paths

Rick bashes the head of one of them in with a bat and tells us he needs a minute. I walk away with the other 2, not accepting to kill one myself. Although all of them insisted I carry something to protect myself with, I refuse, too afraid to kill any, even though I know they are already dead. Rick eventually leads us into his house, assuring his family made it out alive "how could you be so sure?" I question him, wanting to believe him.

"There's empty drawers. They packed some clothes. Not a lot, but enough to travel" he repeats out loud, clearly telling himself the same thing before.

Morgan responds "you know anybody could've come in here off the streets and stolen clothes, right?"

I nod agreeing with him but Rick doesn't believe that "the walls" he gestures to one behind him "framed photos, see any? I don't. Some random thief take those too, ya think?" He shows us that the photo albums are gone and Morgan sits down getting emotional, saying his wife did the same exact thing.

"They're probably in Atlanta" I suggest, not wanting to see the man get upset.

"That's right" he agrees looking over his shoulder at me briefly.

Rick asks "why there?"

"Refugee center. Huge one they said before the broadcast stopped. Military protection, food, shelter. They told people to go there. Said they'd be safe" Morgan explains. It's more then what I heard before getting locked into the room but I'm happy to hear what he said.

"Plus they got that disease place" Dwayne adds in.

His father nods "center for disease control. Said they were working out how to solve this thing."

Rick walks away from us and grabs a set of keys "what are you doing?" I ask

"We need weapons if we're going to make it to Atlanta" he returns without looking towards us.

We get to the jail easily without incident and first thing Rick does is show us the showers. He tells me where to find the ladies locker area and I quickly make my way there, excited to have a hot shower and shave my legs! As I clean myself off I can hear them hoot and holler in delight and a small smile crosses my face. I remind myself that I haven't smiled for a long time even before the outbreak and I try to encourage myself to keep it up, to allow myself to feel something good. I was told it was okay so many times before. I shave my legs quickly, eagerly wanting to put the razor down. Old feelings emerge, wishing I had something sharper at the moment and I try my best to suppress them back down. I think of the men laughing over a shower but it worsens my feeling of sorrow and I change my train of thought. I think of the day I lost the only person who mattered to me in the world and the emptiness surrounds me, making me numb again. This is my comfort place, this is my world. I stay numb, pushing the urge the hurt myself aside for now.

I meet them all in the main area after getting cleaned up. Rick now in a uniform and the others in clean clothes. He unlocks a chain and opens a weapons container. I stay behind them, not caring to get my hands on one. Dwayne asks his father if he could shoot, claiming to be old enough. "It's not a toy, you pull the trigger you have to mean it. Always remember that Dwayne." I hear Rick say and a flash from my childhood embraces me.

They pack duffel bags full of weapons "here" Morgan offers me a shotgun but I shake my head to decline. "You need to protect yourself" he insists further.

"I'm fine without one" I grit through my teeth. His hands stays held out for a few more moments but he pulls it back in and stuffs the gun into the bag.

We make our way to the back to the parking lot and Rick opens the passenger side door "you sure you won't come along?" He asks, wanting the two of them to go to Atlanta with us. Although I invited myself to go with him, I didn't feel staying behind with Morgan and Dwayne was even a choice. I've been cooped up with Rick for weeks now, even in silence, he's come to be my only friend.

"Few more days" Morgan says. "By then Dwayne will know how to shoot and I won't be as rusty"

I nod, not really caring what the reason is but wanting to move on and find somewhere safe. Rick grabs something from his car "you got one battery" he passes a radio to him "I'll turn mine on for a few minutes every day at dawn" he explains a plan "you get up there, that's how you find me."

"You think ahead" he smiles putting the radio in his bag.

"Can't afford not to" he responds with a smile.

"Not anymore" I add on looking down at dirt.

Morgan goes to turn away but pauses "one more thing" he steps closer to Rick "now they may not seem like much one at a time, but in a group all riled up and hungry... You watch your ass" his eyes open a bit wide "watch hers too" I hear him add on in a whisper.

"You too" Rick says "and I will" he glances at me before shaking Morgan's hand.

"I hope you find your wife and son" Morgan encourages him.

He tells Dwayne to take care of his father and as they go to part a sound is heard from the side. We all look and another uniformed officer is stumbling towards the fence. Rick begins to talk about the man he used to be but I decide to get in the car and tune it out. I already know how to say goodbye to people and don't want to watch others learn to do the same. I sit impatiently tapping my foot on the floor and a gun shot goes off soon after.

We part, the 2 people we met wave out their jeep window as they turn in the opposite direction towards the home they have made. Rick drives forward only a few miles and stops the car. He gets out, his eyes searching the field for something. He puts his hat on and walks away. I step out of the car, resting against the hood as I wait for him to do whatever it is he wants to do. I lose sight of him but another gun shot goes off and I know it was him. He walks back to the car with his head down and gets in silently, pulling away quickly and leaving his home town behind him.

A/N: thanks for sticking with it! I promise it gets better! Sadie's past is a huge part of who she is, but it'll take some time for her to develop enough to expose it! I hope you stay interested enough to find out


	4. Chapter 4: Atlanta

Rick talks into the radio in the car "anybody out there? Anybody please respond" he pleads. I look out the window knowing how hopeless it is "can anybody here my voice?" He asks. He keeps this up for a few more minutes before putting the radio back and keeping his white knuckles on the wheel, keeping on towards Atlanta.

He pulls down the visor and takes a picture out, looking down at it occasionally as we drive. The car eventually runs out of gas and we are walking from were we left off. We slowly come across a farm house, seemingly quiet around the area. He shouts out who he is as we get closer to the front door and I wander off to a swing hanging from a tree, letting him take care of talking to people and getting what we need. "Rick, would a horse do?" I call out to him as he sits with his head down on some steps, no one coming to answer the door. He looks up to me and I turn my head to show him where the horse is standing, unbothered. He makes his way towards the stall the horse is in and starts to talk to it sweetly "taking that thing out on a date?" I call out to him in mockery. He ignores me and continues to try and engage with the horse. It doesn't take long before the horse is wrangled and he's pulling him out towards me. He helps me on the horse and asks if I've ever ridden before "nope" I say back, uneasy about the whole thing.

"Alright. I'll drive" he smirks and moves the horse towards a stump to get a lift up. "Hold on Sadie." He says to me "go easy, okay? I haven't done this for years" he adds on, taking me a moment to understand he was talking to the horse then and not to me. He kicks the horse on the side softly and it begins to trot forward as we bounce uncomfortably trying to get used to the new form transportation.

We make our way into the city, trash and debris fill the streets but it's ultimately quiet and dead. The good kind of dead. Barricades are broken through and cars litter the streets but there are no people to be found. We trot slowly pass a bus and the horse gets startled as dead beings begin to come out from it "wow" I say startled by its sudden jerk and sound around me.

"Wow. Wow." He encourages the horse to calm down "it's just a few, nothing we can't handle" Rick says to it, or to me. He kicks the horse forward. As we continue our way through the city a sound is heard in the sky.

We both look up to find the source and I notice the reflection of a helicopter on a building "over there" I point and Rick gallops the horse towards it, wanting to get its attention.

As we go forward he tries to turn the horse down a street but we are met with a cities worth of the living dead compiled together. The horse stops and jumps back, and I fall off of it as it does "go, go!" I shout to Rick holding my head, knowing I can't get back on without them getting to us both. I stand up quickly, looking at all my options and decide to run towards an ally way with a clear path out "I'll catch up with you" I shout out to him as I quickly move my feet away from the crowd.

"Sadie!" I hear him call after me but I don't turn around. To afraid to see what's following me to look back. I get into the ally and there's a fence blocking my way through. I hear them getting closer and I look around hoping for a shattered window or open door to go through. Luck has it and there's an open window on the second floor, reachable by the fire escape. I run towards it quickly, with momentum for the jump and get a hold of it. I take a step upwards and just as I do one reaches the steps. I keep my feet moving and make my way into the window. Inside is an apartment kitchen. I step into the sink and onto the floor, crashing dishes down with me "darn it!" I say annoyed at the commotion it made. I hear gunshots in the distance, and I hope it's Rick making his way to somewhere safe. My thoughts are quickly interrupted as a walker bursts into the room. His hair matted with blood and a gauge of teeth marks in its arm. It lunges at me wanting to eat and I grab the first thing closest to me. My stomach wrenches at the idea of killing it but I smash the bowl against its head and it stumbles backwards. I push it once, twice, three times back into the room it came from and shut the door quickly, blocking it with a chair from escaping. I stumble back into the kitchen and fall against the floor, breathing heavily and shaking.

I don't have time to stay though as the door that's protecting me from dying is being pushed against. Although everything in me doesn't want me to, I grab the biggest knife I can find and hold it tightly in my right hand with no intention to kill with it. I move through the place, looking for the main doorway and find it quickly. I open the door slightly and glance into the hall way. I don't see anybody and put myself quickly away from that apartment and into another. I search the 2 bed 1 bathroom apartment and find no one living or dead inside. Although it's been ransacked through I don't want anything but a place to sit at the moment and gather my thoughts.

I wake up on the floor against a wall to the sound of a car alarm! My body freezes in fear at the sound, knowing how many of those things it could draw out. I stay frozen in my spot, my breath barely audible as I closely listen to it get closer and then farther and farther away. When I can no longer here it anymore I take a huge sigh of relief and let my tears spill out of my eyes. I cry for a long time, I cry myself to sleep on the hard wood floor. I wake up again, this time I can barely see anything, only the moonlight giving off enough to see what's in front of me. Too afraid to move, I stay where I am not wanting to draw any attention in case they really do come out more at night like Morgan says. Another hour or two pass by before the sun begins to rise giving me more light to move around. I use the tub to relieve myself and happily pack the toilet paper left on the roll easily forgotten through the rummage. I know I need to get out of here and find somewhere more obvious to be found. I only know the way I came from so decide to backtrack my way to the other apartment. When I go back inside I look to the bedroom door instantly. It's still on the hinges, the dead person behind it still trying to get through losing its steam through the night. I creep past the door and into kitchen, careful to step over the broken glass and other dishes scattered around. I look down the fire escape and see a few of them still lingering around, too many for me to get past. I sigh, feeling defeated and look around me to come up with another plan. I look up and the fire escape goes all the way to the roof. I place the knife I got last night in the back of my belt that I'm sporting and begin my climb upwards. I reach the top of the roof and look down, the dead's attention back on me, their sound bringing more towards them. I walk to the front of the building to get a view of what's below me. I gasp as I look at the scene below. There's walkers everywhere, spread out across the streets of Atlanta. The huddled city of people is now blocking everything. Among the blood and bodies I spot where Rick and I were ambushed and see the bag of guns we got from his precinct on the ground. Although it could be a bad thing, I try and think of it as a positive thing. There's no blood or body surrounding it, meaning he must have got away. I retreat away from the edge and find somewhere to sit in the shade, trying to come up with another plan.


	5. Chapter 5: Guillermo

As I look down below me at the street an hour or so later I hear a scuffle come from behind me. I turn quickly and find a teenager and an older gentlemen staring at me, one with a bat at the ready "what are you doing up here?" the man asks me in an accent. I don't respond, too nervous to say anything back to him.

"You deaf or somethin' punta?" The teenager asks me with attitude.

"I'm looking for a way out" I say flatly now, trying not to show any fear.

"Well you found one" The man replies to me. I shake my head no and move back a little, almost at the edge "don't worry, we won't bite" he replies.

"well he won't" the teenager mocks but the man smacks him across the head "go find your cousin, help them out. I'll get her back to the hospital" he explains quickly. The young man nods and retreats back into the door I assume they came from.

I shake my head no some more "I'm not going. I'm waiting for someone" I try and say, stuttering out what I can.

"Darling, there's no one coming here. Look at it down there" he steps closer to gesture down towards the ground. I eye him as he steps closer towards me but he stays far enough away to get a glimpse. I look back down and again, see the walkers that took over the city. "I'm José" he extends his hand towards me. I nod to let him know I hear him but do not divulge my own name in return "You'll be safe at the hospital. There's a lot of people there. My mother, son. It's a nice place" he says.

I look again below me, and deep down I know I'd never make it on my own. I'm not willing to kill, not even the dead. "Fine" I say back with a slight nod.

"If you don't like it there, you can leave whenever you'd like" he adds on as I step closer. I nod again, and follow him down the stairs of the apartment building, following his lead hiding and crouching behind walls and cars until we get to an alley way with 2 parked cars. "Encontrado un sobreviviente . Va a regresar al hospital . Quédate aquí."

2 men in one of the cars nod in response and one of them replies."Sí , José." Jose then opens the passenger door for me to get in and I do so quickly, wanting to get away from curious eyes. He pulls out quickly and drives a few blocks away to what once appeared to be a facility of some sort for medical care.

He walks in slowly, and after the door opens more eyes are on me "we have to go see Guillermo" he tells me after a few people stepped closer to get a better view of me. I keep my head down, feeling more vulnerable than I did on the roof when I was alone. We find our way in a side room, one that was probably a break room at one point. A younger man sits in a chair, a cross necklace hangs down his chest.

He turns his head up when we walk in and he spots me instantly "what have we here José?" he asks.

"Found her on a roof. No weapons or anything" he explains to him. Guillermo looks me over and asks my name. I don't respond with it to him either and he turns his eyes to the one who brought me here "sin nombre" he says to him. I can see from the corner of my eye Jose shake his head. "That's fine. You don't know us, all in good time. Why don't you follow me and I'll show you around" he smiles at me. His smile feels sincere and I step from around José and towards Guillermo, this could be my new temporary home.

As we leave that room and walk towards another I notice all of the rooms in the hallway are occupied with older people "was this a senior living hospital?" I question, stopping outside the hall of a patient whose coughing.

"You know a thing or two about a place like this?" He questions with his eyebrows raised.

I shrug "I was recently a temp at a hospital. I learned some things. Is he okay?" I ask pointing to the man coughing.

"That's Mr. Gilbert. He'll be fine when the medicine kicks in. Lets keep moving" he informs me before walking ahead and down another corridor. The rest of the tour is a lot of the same. Mostly old people being taken care of by the women and men of the community they have here. Guillermo doesn't push any further for my name or more information out of me and I'm thankful he puts me in a room separate from everyone else. Although I will share it with an older women, a grandmother of one of the men out on a run, she is usually out and about the building most days. "Anything you can do to help. We'd greatly appreciate it" he says before leaving me be. I sit on the bed with relief. Although I don't want to stay here indefinitely, reality quickly sinks in. I don't know what happened to Rick, or if he made it out alive or not and this may be the best place for me for the time being.

I decide to leave the room and explore the place and see the people. There are a lot more older people here than I thought and I'm happy to start helping out, keeping my mind distracted from the world surrounding me. As I sit next to an older man, playing a game of cards I hear a commotion. Some men quickly drop what they are doing and leave the room guns being drawn at their sides. The older people start to huddle together in hushed discussions and I try my best to remain calm and keep them calm "it's fine everyone. I'm sure it's nothing" I say to a few, trying my best to believe it as well. Eventually some of them return. I wouldn't typically notice a new face, given I just arrived myself and don't know anyone, but an Asian boy sticks out as much as a white girl does in this hospital. He keeps his hands grabbed against his sides and notices me staring at him. He walks over slowly, looking behind him at the 2 men who brought him to the room. They stand together, blocking his way out and I eye him curiously as he gets closer. He sits down next to me but doesn't say anything. I sit for awhile, just trying to enjoy the sounds of what could be a normal day when Guillermo comes running in to the room. He whispers something to the men who brought the Asian fellow in and they nod, one moving forward. He grabs his arm and drags him off the chair "what are you doing?" I yell after them, worried for the young kid.

"Stay out of it chica blanca" one says back to me without turning. I sit back down, knowing there is nothing more I could do about it, not willing to stand up to them.

The Asian returns, sweat dripping off his face and it's obvious he's been outside. "Everything okay?" I ask quietly as he's shaking a little.

He nods, not saying anything back to me and we just stay there quietly. More time passes before an older woman comes in to find someone to help her take care of Mr. Gilbert. He's having a coughing fit. At this point, all of the men have left the room to take care of some other business and the Asian steps up quickly to follow the older women elsewhere. I follow behind, wanting to help if I can. We get to the older man and do our best to help him through the fit "He needs medicine" the older woman says in broken English.

I step away when she does, assuming she's getting his medicine and I look for a glass of water to give him. When I get back to the room, more people I am unfamiliar with are huddled around him. The Asian fellow watches from the side. Two other men are now in the room one white and one black, people I haven't seen before. The one with an arrow strung around his arm grills me down and I turn my attention to the old man, whose now breathing better with the help of an inhaler.

"Dixon?" I hear a name called and turn around, the voice sounding familiar.

"What?" The arrow man mumbles out annoyed.

"Rick" I say with a small smile, relieved he's alive and standing in front of me.

He nods with a smile as well "Good. Glad you are safe. We're leaving" he walks past me, informing all of us it's time to go.

Guillermo walks us out "It's been nice having you here" He says as if we've known each other for a long time "you were a big help even for a few hours" he adds on with a nod.

"Thanks.." I mumble back, ready to leave "and it's Sadie" I comment before being out of ear shot.

As we go to leave Guillermo calls back to Rick "Remember, the weak get taken!"

I follow the 4 men out of that camp and into the streets. The sun is hot and I start to sweat more than I was inside. The Asain whose name I remember as Glenn comments "Admit it" he chuckles "you only came back to Atlanta for the hat."

Rick chuckles back "don't tell anybody."

As we all continue our walk forward the man with the bow angrily comments to Rick "You've given away half our guns and ammo."

Rick responds without looking to him "Not nearly half."

"For what?" He asks sarcastically. "Bunch of old farts who are gonna die off momentarily anyhow." He answered himself. "Seriously, how long yew think they got?"

I speak up then "How long do any of us?" The man who asked the question glares at me with something dark in his eyes and I sink back further behind them as we continue forward.

They stop soon after "Oh my God" Glenn comments.

"Where the hell's our van?" The crossbow man asks in a thick Georgia accent.

Glenn adds back "We left it right there. Who would take it?"

Rick says one word back "Merle." I look at him strangely, not sure who he's talking about or why they would take the van they all arrived in without them.

"He's gonna be taking some vengeance back to camp." The country guy says with wide eyes to all of us.


	6. Chapter 6: A Broken Camp

We've been walking for hours, and no one has said more than a few words to one another. I've learned the name of all the men I'm traveling with by now, and it's easy to remember T-Dog and Daryl. Our pace slowed as we get closer to whatever camp site they are located at. As we walk in the night gunshots ring out and everyone jumps up a little and Rick takes off faster than a fighter jet. The others quickly follow him but I stand frozen on the dirt. My heart races with fear as the sounds ring out through the woods "You comin' girly?" The man, Daryl, swings back around to me and asks, stopping closely to my face. I stare off through him, not connecting with anything he is saying, to paralyzed to respond "Lets go!" He grabs my arm and drags me forward with him. As we get closer, he lets go of my arm and shoots one of the walkers in the head with a shot gun. He steps a head to kill another but I still stand frozen. "Damn it lady!" He hollers back to me running back and grabbing my arm again. We only go a few more feet forward before he stuffs me into a tent "Stay here!" He yells at me and then he's off again.

The cries and bullets continue on for a few more minutes before they slowly start to disperse and break a part. I hear someone yelling "Baby! Carl! Carl! Baby!" and I know Rick must have found his family after we got split, that was his sons name. Although I'm happy at the reunion, a part of me is worried. What if he doesn't let me stay with them now that he has them. What am I going to do? Where will I go? I let myself listen to the reunion and sighs of relief and try to take comfort in them, try to assure myself I'm safe.

I sit in the same spot on the ground of the tent for awhile before Daryl returns to it. He throws his bow to the side of the tent where I am "ow" I say as it hits me.

He turns his head to me "yew still here?" His voice is husky and low. I shrug and nod, not knowing what to say back. I probably should have left a while ago but I didn't know where to go or who to talk to. He sighs heavily, clearly annoyed and pops back outside his tent. He doesn't go far though and comes back in soon "just stay here" he grabs some things from the ground "just tonight. I ain't sharin my tent with no mute" he adds on going to leave.

"Thank you" I mutter out shyly before he leaves completely. He stops for a second but leaves the tent in a huff without looking back. I stay seated for only a few more moments before finding his pillow on the ground and resting my head against it. I've gathered through the night that some people have died due to the dead attacking here and I hear some one crying out to a person named Amy. I don't sleep well but I do get a few hours of rest. When I decide to get up the sun is already rising and I can hear people already moving around. I stay in the out skirts of the camp they made, not drawing attention to myself and just picking at a plate of food I was given by a young girl named Sophia.

Everyone in the camp begins to huddle around a man after a women claims he's been bit. I watch the scene unfold and my stomach churns. The man, Jim, sits by the Winnebago as they huddle together to talk about their options. Daryl proceeds to raise his hand while shouting out to the others with a pick ax in his arm. Rick pulls a gun and puts it to his head and the other man in a sheriff gear steps between him and Jim. Eventually Daryl drops the weapon and storms off. I watch as he does and when he gets closer to me he spits "what you lookin' at, princess?" and grabs his bow from the tent and leaves the camp ground. I don't watch what direction he's going and instead keep my eyes trained on Rick. He talks with the other dressed man in uniform before turning around and gazing the area. He spots me and when he see's me looking back he waves over for me to join him.

I get up slowly and walk towards him "This is Shane. He saw you sittin' over there and was wondering who the hell you were" he says to me with a smile "I'm sorry I wasn't able to introduce you to everyone last night." he apologizes, lowering his head a little.

"That's okay'" I return quickly, understanding under the circumstances.

He nods with gratitude "I hope you were able to find somewhere to rest" his eyes look at mine concerned.

I nod back assuring him I was fine "That guy, Daryl, let me have his tent for the night" I say lowly with a shoulder shrug.

"Daryl. Pfft.. Surprised he did anything nice" Shane comments. He puts his hand out for me to shake and I accept it, wanting to fit in around here.

"Sadie-Mae" I say to him.

"Hi Sadie. I'll take you around to meet everyone. We've kind of got a thing going on right now, so I may get pulled away." Shane tells me with a southern draw to his voice and a smirk. His dark hair frames his face and I nod while looking at Rick whose idea this obviously was.

Rick and Shane first lead me to Rick's family. I meet his wife Lori and his son Carl. When the boys step away Lori quickly moves close to me and hugs me tightly "Thank you so much for taking care of him" she says to me in a soft voice.

"Oh uhm.." I stutter out, startled by her affection. I wrap one arm back around her "it's nothing to thank me for."

She pulls away and holds on to both my arms "He may not have survived in that hospital as long as he did without you. Thank you." she stares into me with sincerity and I smile back with no words. She walks me back to where the 3 of them were and leaves me next to Shane while her, Rick and their son walk off together.

"Let's go meet everyone" he says to me, slinging a shovel over his shoulders and holding it there while we walk. He introduces me to everyone I haven't met yet. I try to remember their names but it's too many. After awhile it all blurs together and I decide to hide out on top of the RV. The older man Dale sits on top watching over things and he's happy to let me sit in silence. Lori comes over to inform us they will start burying the bodies of the one's they lost and Dale asks me to keep watch.

"Here" he tries to pass me a sniper rifle after I accepted the binoculars. I shake my head no to decline "you'll need a weapon" he encourages me to take it.

"I can shout out. I wont take that" I inform him as sternly as I possibly can, not wanting to continue this battle with everyone. He nods, placing it at my feet and retreating below into the RV. I sit in the beach chair that's set up and swivel myself 360 degrees to keep an eye on all areas as best I could.

Everything goes off without a hitch and I'm glad I didn't have to report any danger and ruin the funeral service they attempted at. I head down to meet with the entire group to listen in as they decide what to do next. Rick already has a lead role in this camp now and although I'm new he asked me to be there for support. I know it's the least I could do, so I oblige.

Shane starts it off speaking lowly, eyeing most people as he goes "I've been, uh... I've been thinking about Rick's plan. Now look, there are no... There are no guarantees either way. I'll be the first one to admit that. I've known this man a long time. I trust his instincts." He looks at Rick now and Rick stares back, their friendship obvious to everyone. "I say the most important thing here is we need to stay together. So those of you that agree, we leave first thing in the morning." He keeps his eyes around the circle.

Everyone dissolves as night begins to approach and I stay lingering by a camp fire. "Rick, can I talk to you for a moment?" I ask him when he's seemingly alone. He walks to the side of the camp with me and waits for me to tell him what I wanted to say "what about Morgan? Wasn't he going to meet up in Atlanta, meet up here?" I bite my lower lip.

His eyes fall low "I know. I know they are, but we can't stay. I was about to head out to get a better signal and radio him right now." he explains to me.

"You think he hears you?" I ask.

He sighs "I'm not sure. I hope so. I have a map here that I plan on leavin', to tell him where we went off to" he shows me the map from his pocket.

I nod and reply "alright" and walk back to the campfire. I decide to sleep in the back of the sports car, as everyone else already seems to have someplace claimed. I get myself as comfortable as possible and try to drift off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7: The CDC

Some of their group decided to not come along and the others say goodbye. I keep myself separated from them, waiting in a jeep that's lined up with the others. Shane gets in soon after "riding with me?" he cocks an eyebrow with a smirk.

"I don't have to, I just got in somewhere that was open" I slink a little further down into the seat, ready to leave if he wants to be alone.

He starts the jeep "Just messin' with you. It's all good" he shakes his head a little and we wait to pull forward with everyone else. Smoke begins to pile into the air and we all pull over. Something from the Winnebago busted and they need to fix it. As they discuss this problem, they also have to deal with Jim. He wants to be left behind, hurting too much to continue on the road. I stay to the side with the kids, keeping them busy by showing them how to fold a paper airplane, something I used to do as a little kid. After everyone, besides myself, has said goodbye to Jim we get back into our cars and drive off to the CDC. We get their before sun down but it's a disaster zone. Sandbags and dead bodies litter the ground. I get out of the jeep, following closely behind Shane. The smell of the deceased is overwhelming and I begin to cough into my shirt. We all move forward carefully, Shane taking lead with Rick as they cock their guns ready to protect us all if necessary. "Everyone stay quiet, let's go!" Shane whispers the order. Everyone begins to cough as we move on, flies eating at the bodies.

We get to the doors and the shutters are down. Rick and Shane run ahead but find no way inside. Shane bangs on the door while T-dog speaks up "there's nobody here."

"then why are these shutters down?" Rick asks still looking at the doors.

"Walker!" Daryl yells and we all turn to find the danger. A dead man in a military uniform comes at us slowly and people begin to panic. Daryl quickly shoots it in the head and grabs the bow and returns it to its holder "You led us to a graveyard!" He turns toward Rick quickly and trying to keep his shout low.

"He made a call!" Shane defends Rick.

Daryl gets closer, trying to attack "it was the wrong damn call!"

"Just shut up! You hear? Shut up. Shut up! Rick, this is a dead end." Shane blocks Daryl from attacking Rick and I step in between him and the 2 friends while they talk things through. Daryl stares past me with anger at Rick.

"Where are we gonna go?" Jacqui asks in a panic.

"Do you hear me?" Shane asks Rick getting close to him "No blame."

Lori gets closer to her husband with her son "she's right." She looks around panicked "We can't be here, this close to the city after dark."

"Fort Benning!" I pipe in, remembering that as our other option.

Shane looks at me only for a moment "it's still an option" he says to his friend with a shrug.

Andrea steps next to me now "on what? No food, no fuel. That's 100 miles!"

"125. I checked the map" Glenn adds on eyeing around us.

Lori dismisses the idea "Forget Fort Benning! We need answers tonight, now." she says firmly. Although the reasoning may be true, I can't help but feel angered she shot it down, wondering if it's because I suggested it.

"We'll think of something." Rick tells us as all.

Shane begins to corral the group "Come on, let's go. All right, everybody back to the cars. Let's go. Move.

I step back and listen to him but Rick's sudden shout catches all of our attention "The camera. It moved."

Shane responds first "You imagined it."

But Rick doesn't budge, his eyes still up at the camera "It moved. It moved.

Lori pushes Carol towards me and I grab a hold of him while she keeps her hand on her gun and heads towards her husband. Shane is still trying to explain away what Rick saw, if he saw anything "Rick, it is dead, man. It's an automated device. It's gears, okay? They're just winding down. Now come on!" Shane and Lori both try to pull at him but he doesn't move away. "Man, just listen to me. Look around this place. It's dead, okay? It's dead. You need to let it go"m!"

Rick gets past his friend and slams on the shutters with his fist

Lori tries her best "Rick, there's nobody here!"

Rick shouts outs "I know you're in there. I know you can hear me." Shane continues to try and drag him away with Lori's help

"Everybody get back to the cars now!" Shane turns for a moment to tell us. Daryl leads the way out for us.

Rick's voice keeps us all drawn together "Please, we're desperate. Please help us. We have women, children, no food, hardly any gas left." he talks to the camera as if someone is watching

I try from where I am standing to reason with him "Rick. There's nobody there!"

He ignores us all and continues "We have nowhere else to go." He pounds on the door some more "Keep your eyes open. If you don't let us in, you're killing us! Please!" he pleads to whomever he thinks is behind the doors.

Shane keeps trying "Come on, buddy, let's go. Let's go."

"Please help us. You're killing us! You're killing us! You're killing us!" He yells as Shane and Lori yell at him. As Rick pleads his stance is weakened and Shane is able to drag him away while he shouts. Shane thrusts him forward and we go to leave when the sound of the shutters opening surrounds us. I turn to the door but the bright light blinds me and I cover my hand to make sure what I'm seeing is actually happening. The door is open and waiting for us to enter.


	8. Chapter 8: A Safe Haven

We move into the elevator after Dr. Jenner told us we must submit to a blood test in order to stay. It hums as we move down. Daryl comments "Doctors always go around packing heat like that?" his eyes stare down the automatic weapon in the doctors hands.

"There were plenty left lying around. I familiarized myself." He informs all of us. "But you look harmless enough." he adds on. "Except you." he looks directly at Rick's son. It takes a moment but Carol smiles back and the Dr. chuckles.

"Welcome to Zone 5" he says entering the large room.

"Where is everybody?" I ask out loud, noticing the full room of equipment with no one to run it.

"The other doctors, the staff?" Rick adds on to what I asked.

"I'm it. It's just me here" he responds as if that's normal.

"What about the person you were speaking with?" Lori asks "Vi?"

He smiles faintly "Vi, say hello to our guests. Tell them.. Welcome" A woman's computerized voice announces over a system "Hello, guests. Welcome." and then the Dr. speaks to us again "I'm all that's left. I'm sorry" he turns and walks towards a door way.

We all get our blood drawn by him, some annoyed and some relaxed as we wait for everyone to be collected. After Andrea was the last to go the Dr. invited us all to dinner. Everyone sits around the table chuckling and laughing like it's Christmas morning. The wine goes around from glass to glass, bottle after bottle are being opened. I sit next to Shane, skipping on the drinks and passing it to Daryl. He waves it away with a 40 in his hand and I stand to pass it off to Glenn whose sitting on a counter top.

He waves it away with a 40 in his hand and I stand to pass it off to Glenn whose sitting on a counter top

Carl tries some wine and squirms with disgust as everyone laughs, including myself. I remember Dwayne in that moment, and I hope him and his father have found somewhere safe as well. "So when are you gonna tell us what the hell happened here, doc?" Shane asks. I hit my hand against his knee under the table shaking my head to tell him it's not the time but he ignores me. "All the... the other doctors that were supposed to be figuring out what happened, where are they?"

Rick speaks up though to try to and steer the conversation away from where he's trying to get it to go "We're celebrating, Shane. Don't need to do this now."

"Whoa, wait a second." he holds up his hand at Rick for a moment "This is why we're here, right? This was your move..." his eyes look at the people in front of him "Supposed to find all the answers. Instead we.." He chuckles. "We found him. Found one man. Why?" He's facing Dr. Jenner now, eargerly waiting his reasoning.

"Well, when things got bad, a lot of people just left. Went off to be with their families. And when things got worse, when the military quarantine got overrun, the rest bolted." He explains.

"Every last one?" Shane asks trying to catch him up.

"No" he says instantly "many couldn't face walking out the door. They... opted out. There was a rash of suicides. That was a bad time." he holds his glass of wine still in his hands and stares off at the memories.

"You didn't leave. Why?" I ask him, curious to why he would stay here all alone.

"I just kept working. Hoping to do some good." He looks at me when answering.

"Dude, you are such a buzzkill, man." Glenn stumbles to the table and tells Shane this.

Dr. Jenner brings us to the area where we can sleep. He tells us there are cots in storage and to go easy on the hot water when we shower. Everyone gets excited at the idea and pans off in different directions to find somewhere to sleep and get cleaned up.

I go into the rec room where he told the kids some games are and rest on the couch while everyone goes off to shower. Lori comes in after her shower and I leave the room, not wanting to be around Carol and Lori with their kids. I put myself on the floor of the hallway, listening as people walk by and waiting for things to die down. Carol leaves the rec room a few minutes after I do with the kids and as they pass me Shane walks down the hall towards the room "everything okay?" I ask him, standing up now. He ignores me and plows past into the rec room. The door shuts moments later and I'm left alone again in the hall.

When Shane does come back out I notice a scratch across his neck. His eyes glow with rage and he doesn't look at me. I wait for Lori to come out and she does so soon after. Her face streamed with tears. She looks at me and fright crosses her face "please don't say anything to Rick" she pleads in a whisper "nothing happened" she also adds on. After what I saw on Shane's face, I can believe nothing happened, but not telling Rick about his wife and best friend feels wrong. I sigh to tell her what I was thinking but she must have assumed I disagreed because she steps closer to me "I thought he was dead Sadie! Shane told me so himself. Carl and I.." she stops for a moment looking away. "Shane kept us alive. Please.." her voice shakes "it would kill him.." she adds lowly, more tears falling.

I think for a moment about what telling him could possibly do to him. He's taken on a leadership role within this group and this could break him down. I sigh "I won't say anything Lori. It's none of my business anyway." I respond to her looking into her eyes so she knows I mean in. "Are you okay though? Did he hurt you?" I ask her referring to Shane.

She shakes her head no "he's just drunk.. probably won't even remember what happened in the morning" she smiles softly back. "I was hoping.." but she trails off.

"Hoping what?" I push further.

"Nothing.." she responds. She then wraps her arms around me and embraces me in a hug "you're a good friend Sadie" she pulls away to show me a toothy smile.

"No problem" I say back, not sure keeping a secret from Rick would still count as me being a good friend. She moves away from me down the hall and I go back into the rec room to collect some things before I head for the shower.

I wait a little longer, not going in till around 1 in the morning. I wanted to really enjoy this shower, it possibly being my last. I turn the water on to warm but allow the cold to run over me. I squirm in delightful discomfort as it runs over the dirt and the water around my feet turns brown. I wash my hair quickly, shampooing it three different times to really get it clean. After, I pull out the razor blade I found among random toiletries we were allowed to look through. I put myself against the wall of the shower and take a deep breath. Do I really want to do this? I ask myself. It's been months and I've been doing so well. The struggle is hard as I keep the blade barely against an old scar. I keep trying to fight the battle to hurt myself, but being around everyone tonight, so happy and open, it's hurting me so much. I push it against my skin and move it vertically towards my body. The blood being washed with the shower water to the drain. I make 2 more cuts before dropping the blade on the ground and resting my head against the cold wall. I close my eyes, singing a song that resonates with me and how I'm feeling, it's one I've come to sing a lot in my life.

"Are you there?

Are you watching me?

As I lie here on this floor

They say you feel what I do

They say you're here every moment

Will you stay?

Stay till the darkness leaves

Stay here with me

I know you're busy, I know I'm just one

But you might be the only one who sees me

The only one to save me "

"What the hell?" A man's voice catches me off guard and I look up to find Daryl standing in front of me.

Daryl's eyes are open as he comes closer to turn the shower off. His jeans covering his lower half but his chest lay open, a towel strung across his shoulder.

I cover up by huddling myself into a ball and the water is now off "you mind?" I snarl at him tiredly, wanting to close my eyes again. His presence now among me makes me feel gross, making me regret the decision I made to hurt myself. He leans down and pulls at my arm. He grunts something inaudible and whips the towel off his shoulder, wrapping it around my wrist and holding it tightly. "Leave me alone" I mumble now.

He scoops me up off the floor and moves out of the showers. I try to argue with him but I have no strength. I'm dropped on a cot and he throws a scratchy blanket over me. He leaves the room for only a moment and comes back, grabbing my arm again. "Damn it, Sadie-Mae" he grumbles lowly, unwrapping the blood soaked towel he threw on it and putting a bandage around my arm. I let myself drift off into the darkness too tired to give a shit right now.


	9. Chapter 9: The End Results

I wake up with a headache. I sit up slowly trying to let my eyes adjust to the darkness. I find a figure resting against the wall to my side "where am I?" I mumble out still half asleep. Whoever it is doesn't answer and I move my arm to turn the light on that's next to me. As the room illuminates I recognize Daryl and the incident from the shower comes back to me.

"Can't a guy get some sleep?" Daryl grunts when the light is on, waking him up.

"Sorry" I mumble back, moving my hand back to turn the light off. I fumble to much though and the light tips over, the light and bulb shattering on the floor next to me. "Sorry, I'm sorry!" I say again, afraid of what he might do. I don't know who he is and he seems like an angry person.

A small light illuminates from next to him and it's shining bright in my eyes "don't be sorry.. just a damn lamp" he hops off what he's sitting on "not even mine" he adds on kicking at the glass on the floor to try and make a pile.

"Right" I say clamming up, still nervous around him. I look down and see the bandage wrapped around my arm with faint blood stains. There's a dirty brown sleeveless flannel covering me as well. "I should go" I say to him going to stand up and spotting the door.

"You ain't goin' nowhere" Daryl quickly stops me, standing in front of the only way out.

I hesitate, scared of what he wants. "what- what do you want with me?" I question lowly sitting back down on the bed.

"Shit, all girls so crazy?" He asks "you ain't goin' nowhere cause of what you might do to yourself" he explains to me.

"What I do to myself is none of your business." I retort, now annoyed. He has no right to try and lecture me about it, he knows nothing about my life.

He chuckles lowly "when I go to shower and find a bloody girl on the bathroom floor, it becomes my business" he adds on.

"Could've just walked away" I tell him looking away not wanting to explain myself to a stranger.

"Couldn't live with myself" he adds on. "Go back to sleep, yew can do whatever ya' want in the mornin." His voice stays low and husky. He returns to sit where he was before, putting the flashlight up so the light hits off the ceiling. I contemplate getting up again but the exhaustion runs over me. I lay down and try to ignore him in the room and allow myself to drift off to sleep.

"Let's go sleepin' beauty, they won't save us nothin' if we don' get it ourselves" Daryl's deep voice is over me and waking me up. I open my eyes and he's staring at me with a scowl.

"what?" I question with a yawn.

He rolls his eyes "breakfast" and with that one word he leaves the room.

I sit up slowly, allowing myself to wake up. I can't remember the last time I slept that well. My feet touch the ground and I shuffle out of the room I'm in and down the corridor. I walk into the eating room where most people are already chewing on things "well look at you" Lori smiles when I walk in the room.

I tilt my head not understanding what she's talking about when Rick coughs up a little laugh "who would've thought" I hear him say looking to Lori with a smile and a small shrug.

"What are you guys talking about?" I ask them, confused. I scoop some eggs onto a plate. No one answers me and I sit down next to Andrea to finish eating. Shane walks into the room and the tension between Lori and him is palpable .

"Hey," he says walking into the room with droopy eyes.

Rick responds with one back "Hey. Feel as bad as I do?" he asks in between a sip of his juice.

My eyes drift off to Shane as he says "Worse" back without turning around. He then takes a seat next to Dale and myself.

"The hell happened to you? Your neck?" T-Dog aks him as both of them approach the table.

"I must have done it in my sleep." He lies back nervously looking at Lori. Her eyes dart back down to her food when he looks at her.

"Never seen you do that before." Rick tells him.

"Me neither." Shane agrees "not like me at all." he says staring at the women he's pining for. She doesn't lift her head though. The Dr. then walks in and Shane greets him "Hey, doc."

He goes for the coffee in the room and Dale speaks up "Doctor, I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing..."

"But you will anyway" he adds knowingly.

"We didn't come here for the eggs" Andrea's tone is serious as she says it. Dr. Jenner stands for a moment before leaving the room to show us all something.

"Nice shirt" Shane leans down after he gets up with a smirk and a wink leaving me alone at the table. I look down to see what he's talking about and remember only now that I am still wearing Daryl's flannel from before.

I roll my eyes annoyed at everyone's assumption and scoop two more bites of T-dogs eggs into my mouth before following everyone out.

I get in the room when something is pulled up on the screen "Few people ever got a chance to see this. Very few." The large screen in front of us shows us the human skull. Different parts of the brain are lighting up and twitching.

"Is that a brain?" Carl asks almost like he's fascinated by it.

The Dr. leans down a little to respond "An extraordinary one." he pauses for a moment looking at his reaction "Not that it matters in the end. Take us in for E.I.V" he commands the computer. "Enhanced Internal View" the system repeats back

"What are those lights?" I ask interested.

"It's a person's life... experiences, memories. It's everything. Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light, is you... the thing that makes you unique. And human." he explains to us all as we watch the flickering of the brain in front of us.

"You don't make sense ever?" Daryl says to the Dr.

"Those are synapses, electric impulses in the brain that carry all the messages. They determine everything a person says does or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death." He explains further for those who didn't understand what he meant before.

Rick steps closer to him with curious eyes "Death? That's what this is, a vigil?"

"Yes." The doctor responds "Or rather the playback of the vigil." he adds on quickly.

"This person died? Who?" Andrea asks, her eyes deep with wonder and sadness.

"Test subject 19. Someone who was bitten and infected. And volunteered to have us record the process. Vi, scan forward to the first event." he says. Vi responds "Scanning to first event. The room emits with beeping noises.

Glenn pipes up from the back of the room "What is that?"

"It invades the brain like meningitis." Dr. Jenner tells us all. The brain on the screen is now starting to show red lines instead of blue through it's brain and the visual is all to obvious to us "The adrenal glands hemorrhage, the brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs. Then death. Everything you ever were or ever will be... Gone." he says as if it's normal.

A small cry escapes from Andrea. Lori speaks on her behalf "She lost somebody two days ago."

"Her sister." I add on.

"I lost somebody too. I know how devastating it is." He tells her sincerely. "Scan to the second event." The computer again responds "Scanning to second event." and the Dr. explains things further to us as we watch the Test subjects brain. "The resurrection times vary wildly. We had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute... Seven seconds."

"It restarts the brain?" Lori asks.

"No, just the brain stem." Dr. Jenner responds "Basically, it gets them up and moving."

Rick asks "But they're not alive?"

"You tell me." He poses the question back on him.

Rick responds "It's nothing like before. Most of that brain is dark."

Jenner adds on to his statement "Dark, lifeless, dead. The frontal lobe, the neocortex, the human part. That doesn't come back. The you part. Just a shell driven by mindless instinct."

A loud bang emits the screen and I already know what it was, the sound forever haunting me. I turn and leave the room, not wanting to listen to any of this anymore.

I turn and leave the room, not wanting to listen to any of this anymore


	10. Chapter 10: A Broken World

I wander back into the room I slept in last night. I know everyone will pile back out soon enough and some will spend their time in the rec room. I want to be left alone and I know Daryl will leave me be. Some time passes before he comes into the room with a whiskey bottle in hand. He stops short when he see's me, eyeing me for only a minute before moving forward again and plopping down onto the bed. We sit silently as I stare at the floor.

"Thanks" I mumble, not sure what for but I felt the need to say it. I look down at the worn flannel "oh, and now everyone thinks somethin' happened between us" I chuckle out grabbing at the shirt, slightly embarrassed.

"let em' think what they want, they don't know nothin'" he comments back, taking another swig from the bottle before changing the shirt he's in. He catches me eyeing him and thrusts his arm forward "want some?" he asks after getting his arm through the sleeves. I shake my head no and he shrugs, taking another gulp. He wipes his mouth off with his arm "can I ask you somethin'?" He asks me.

I nod letting him know to go for it when the lights turn off in the room "what the

I nod letting him know to go for it when the lights turn off in the room "what the.." I drift off saying. We look at each other and then move straight to the door. Daryl leans in the hall way, holding onto the side of the door and I lean right behind him, smelling the whiskey.

"What's going on? Why is everything turned off?" He asks. Everyone else also piling into the hall.

Dr. Jenner grabs the bottle from his hands "Energy use is being prioritized." he swigs from it.

Dale asks as we follow him down the hall "Air isn't a priority?"

"And lights?" I add on to his comment.

"It's not up to me. Zone 5 is shutting itself down." he says calmly.

"Hey!" Daryl calls after him "Hey, what the hell does that mean?" The rest of the power turns off as we enter the computer based room. Daryl angry as Jenner ignores him "Hey man, I'm talking to you! What do you mean it's shutting itself down? How can a building do anything?"

Dr. Jenner responds "You'd be surprised." He comments as we head down the stairs. Rick and Dr. Jenner exchange words. Only some of what I can hear from where I am standingat the back of the group. Dr. Jenner hands the bottle back to Daryl and he grabs it from him with force. "It was the French." the Dr. comments, looking at someone in particular. I can't tell if it was Andrea or Carol but one of the women asks "what?" and he responds "They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know. While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs till the end. They thought they were close to a solution.

"What happened?" Jacqui asks.

"The same thing that's happening here. No power grid. Ran out of juice. The world runs of fossil fuel. I mean, how stupid is that?" Jenner spits out, seeming less stable then he's been since we arrived.

"Let me tell you..." Shane goes after him. I move to the front of the group to help if I need to keep him calm.

"Oh hell with it, Shane. I don't even care. Lori, grab our things. Everybody, get your stuff. We're getting out of here now!" Rick tells the group after stopping Shane from moving in on the doctor.

All of a sudden a loud alarm begins to beep through the vicinity "Doc, what's going on here?" Daryl asks him.

"Everybody, y'all heard Rick." Shane repeats what he said "Get your stuff and let's go!" He looks at me in the eyes "Go now! Go! Let's go." He rushes everyone to move. As we do.

Glenn shouts out as well "Let's go!" As we move towards an exit to get our things the doors shut down, locking us all in.

"Did he just lock us in here?" I panic moving up to where everyone is.

"You son of a.." Daryl tries to attack the doctor in his seat but Shane holds him back. I put myself next to the two of them and my hand finds its way to Daryl's arm. He moves it away from my touch and stares at the doctor.

"Hey, Jenner, open that door now." Rick demands of him, moving closer to him.

"There's no point. Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed." He tells him.

"Well, open the damn thing!" Daryl retorts.

Dr. Jenner answers back, staring at him "That's not something I control. The computers do." His attention is back on Rick "I told you once that front door closed, it wouldn't open again. You heard me say that. It's better this way." His voice is calming again when he says it.

"What is?" Rick spits with wonder "What happens in 28 minutes?" he yells. The doctor types something on the keyboard but doesn't answer "What happens in 28 minutes?!" Rick asks again

"You know what this place is?!" Dr. Jenner stands up with rage filled eyes. Spit coming out of his mouth as he speaks. "We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!" His face red.

"In the event of a catastrophic power failure... in a terrorist attack, for example..." he's sitting back down now, calm again "H.I.T.s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out.

"H.I.T.s?" I ask not following, looking to Rick and Shane to see if they know.

Dr. Jenner turns to his trusty computer to helps us understand "H.I.T Hits... high-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consists of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen between 5,000° and 6,000° and is used when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired." VI tells us. Tears are streaming from the little one's faces as their family holds on to one another.

"It sets the air on fire. No pain. An end to sorrow, grief. Regret. Everything." He trails off saying what he wants most to go away the most, it's obvious to me, I've seen it before in my own eyes. It's not until my hand is being pulled at that I realize I'm gripping onto someone's hand. I look to find Daryl staring at me probably wondering what the hell I was doing. I quickly let go and he goes to attack the locked door, throwing the glass whiskey bottle at it.

"Open the damn door!" he yells. Shane runs past him to attack it with an ax.

Dr. Jenner speaks up as the rest of us sit on the ground, waiting for the end. "You should've left well enough alone. It would've been so much easier."

"Easier for who?" Lori asks wide eyed at his words.

"All of you. You know what's out there... A short, brutal life and an agonizing death." he pauses "Your... your sister... what was her name?" he asks Andrea who informs him. "Amy." he says her name with a pause "You know what this does. You've seen it. Is that really what you want for your wife and son?"

Rick gets a bit closer to his face "I don't want this." he spits.

Shane comes back over out of breath "Can't make a dent." he informs.

"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher." Dr. Jenner tells us.

"Well, your head ain't!" Daryl goes to swing the ax at the man.

Shane and Rick hold him back "Whoa! Whoa!"

T-dog helps as well "Daryl!"

"Daryl! Just back up! Back up!" Rick gets him away and T-dog takes the ax from his grip.

"You do want this. Last night you said you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead." The doctor says out loud to Rick.

"What?" Lori responds baffled.

Shane repeats her question as well "What? You really said that? After all your big talk?"

Rick responds to his wife and friend "I had to keep hope alive, didn't I?"

The doctor speaks out "There is no hope. There never was."

"There's always hope." Rick argues "Maybe it won't be you, maybe not here, but somebody somewhere.

"What part of "everything is gone" do you not understand?" I add on after staying mostly silent this whole time.

Dr. Jenner agrees with me "Listen to your friend. She gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event."

Carol holds her daughter as she says "This isn't right. You can't just keep us here." her eyes filled with tears as she weeps along with her.

"One tiny moment... a millisecond." he tries to explain to them the way it would go.

"No pain." I add on in a whisper.

"My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this." she huffs out.

The doctor tries to console Carol and Lori "Wouldn't it be kinder, more compassionate to just hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?"

I hear a gun cock and Shane is coming towards the man with a shotgun "Shane, no!" Rick tries to keep him away.

"Out of the way, Rick! Stay out of my way!" he doesn't even look at his friend when he says it, too angry to look away from the man keeping them in here. "Open that door or I'm gonna blow your head off. Do you hear me?!" the gun points between his eyes.

"Brother, brother, this is not the way you do this. We will never get out of here." Rick now trying to defuse him.

"Shane, you listen to him." Lori tries to help the situation as well.

"It's too late. He dies, we all.." Shane starts to yell loudly "We all die! Shane! Shane!" The shot gun goes off and I turn away to hide from his shooting. I hear electricity as he shoots at the computers and grunting as Rick tries to take the weapon away from him. "Are you done now? Are you done?" Rick yells now, the gun shots stopping.

"Yeah, I guess we all are." Shane says to him from the ground.

"I think you're lying." Rick calls out Dr. Jenner.

"What?" he asks him back.

"You're lying about no hope. If that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out. You didn't. You chose the hard path. Why?" He asks.

Dr. Jenner shakes his head a little "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter." I pipe up on the floor, interested to hear his reasoning.

Rick agrees with me "It always matters. You stayed when others ran. Why?"

"Not because I wanted to. I made a promise... To her. My wife." Dr. Jenner tells him, tells us.

Lori asks "Test subject 19 was your wife?"

He explains to us the promise he made to her "She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no?" A pounding brings us back and I turn to see Daryl hitting at the door again. "She was dying. It should've been me on that table. I wouldn't have mattered to anybody. She was a loss to the world. Hell, she ran this place. I just worked here. In our field, she was an Einstein. Me? I'm just... Edwin Jenner. She could've done something about this. Not me."

"Your wife didn't have a choice. You do. That's... that's all we want... a choice, a chance." Rick pleads.

"Let us keep trying as long as we can." Lori holds her son close.

Dr. Jenner ponders this for a moment before responding "I told you topside's locked down. I can't open those." and he walks to the side, swiping a card and punching in numbers.


	11. Chapter 11: Flirting Subjects

"What the hell yew doin'?" The redneck's voice echos throughout the room. I assume he's talking to Jacqui and Andrea so I keep my eyes focused ahead. Dale continues to try and convince Andrea to go with him, not to end it this way. "SADIE-MAE! Get yo' ass up! Let's go!" He calls out to me by name.

My head swivels as he reaches me, the room slightly shaking from an explosion "I'm stayin' here" I tell him blankly, bewildered he's even next to me.

"The hell you are!" He grabs at my hand to pull me away. I jerk up, standing to get a better grip and keep them planted on the ground.

They move slightly and I raise my voice "No, let me stay. Let me die" I get out, ready to be done with all the pain I've been enduring.

"No. You ain't goin' out this way. Yew don' get to take the easy way out" he argues with me but I keep my feet grounded there. "Damn it!" He says picking me up from my legs and tossing me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I try to fight him to put me down but he's running fast as hell out of the area. As soon as we get outside the others are yelling at us to run, to get where they are. He reaches the truck and swings open the passenger side door, tossing me in "GET DOWN!" he yells and I stay lying on the seat with my head covered in my hands. He slides in from the driver side and starts the car before getting down himself, his body half covering mine. I curse him silently, waiting for the blow. More people are yelling for someone to get down, to cover themselves. I hear someone yell out to Dale and I wonder if Andrea is with him or not. It's not too long after that that the heat from the blast runs through the air and my entire body is covered in chills. Chills of what could have been. The car shakes but soon stops and Daryl sits up. When he exhales slowly I sit up as well and glare outside at what's left of the CDC. There's nothing but debris and fire, smoke billowing through the air from the blast.

There's nothing but debris and fire, smoke billowing through the air from the blast

Everyone drives forward now, away from the scene. We drive away for a day and a half until we stop to regain ourselves and figure out our next move. I sit in the passenger seat without talking to Daryl the entire ride. Angry at the choice he made for me.

"Alright. Let's get going. Fort Benning is about 100 plus miles from here." Rick explains to the group. Everyone scatters to get into their cars.

Daryl pulls up next to me on his motorcycle "comin?" he eyes me with a scowl, his truck being left behind to save on gas.

"I'll ride with Shane" I mumble to him walking away.

"Suit yourself" he says pulling away to take the lead.

I get to the truck Shane is driving and hop inside the passenger side. He gives me a head nod and pulls up behind Rick's truck. "So, you and the redneck?" He asks me, eyeing the tied up flannel around my waist.

"Pfft. Yah right" I roll my eyes at the assumption.

He eyes me curiously, making me annoyed "so, you and Rick's wife" I spit back to make him uncomfortable under his gaze.

He shifts in the seat before responding "ain't nothing there" he shakes his head trying to believe it himself. I allow him to believe that, not saying anything more. I sit staring at the truck a head, wondering about what lies a head for me in this group. Shane brings my attention back to the car "So, if you and Daryl aren't somethin', who you pining for?" He asks making conversation.

"Pining?" I quizzically look at him.

He laughs "You're staring at their car pretty seriously.. Unless you got a thing for women or children, I'd say you have a thing for officer Rick" his own Georgian accent coming through.

"As if" I play it off.

"You're blushing" he mocks me with more laughter.

I coif in his direction, not wanting to have this conversation and reach my hand over his leg, close to his privates. He sits up abruptly at the unexpected touch and tries to keep control of the car as it swivels slightly. I move my hand to the buckle of his pants and I undo it "now, would someone pining for him go and do something like this with his best friend" I lean in, whispering in his ear before biting down on it gently.

He bites his lower lip and shakes his head no when I meet his eyes, his breath falling on my face. My hand finds it's way down his trousers and briefs. As I move my hand over him he sighs in pleasure, his head back against the head rest his eyes trying to stay on the road. "You need.." he breaths out "you need to stop" he takes a hand off the wheel and puts it against mine through his pants. "I'm going to crash into all these cars" he says regretfully. I notice a bead of sweat drip off his forehead and smile, happy to have the subject off of myself. I look forward and notice the maze of crashed and broken down cars in front of us. I go to remove my hand but he grabs it lightly "but we'll finish this later" his eyebrows raised with a smirk on his lips.

I go to remove my hand but he grabs it lightly "but we'll finish this later" his eyebrows raised with a smirk on his lips

"we'll see" I smile coyly before turning my head away and looking out the passenger side window.

Dale, Shane, Daryl & Rick try to move their vehicles through the maze but we don't get in very far. The RV hose craps out again and we all stop.

"What's going on?" I ask coming out of the truck. Shane gets out as I do but adjusts himself behind the open door.

"Just a small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of-" he says but pauses once he notices Daryl looking through the cars for supplies "Okay, that was dumb." he adds.

"If you can't find a radiator hose here-" Shane says, afterwards looking at me with a wink.

Daryl comments, looking through a trunk "there's a whole bunch of stuff we can find."

T-dog jumps in "I can siphon more fuel from these cars for a start."

Carol adds "Maybe some water. Or food."

"This is a graveyard." Lori pipes up. Everyone turns to her "I don't know how I feel about this." she says, making some hesitate, including myself.

"All right, all right, here we go." Rick encourages the group to move along.

"Come on, y'all." T-dog says "Just look around, gather what you can."

I stand where I am, to nervous to go off on my own. I'm not there to long before Shane pulls my hand from behind and moves away from the group "what are you doing?" I ask as we get farther away.

He swings me around the side of a big truck "I can't get you out of my head" he huffs out before pushing me into the truck with some force, starting to suck at my neck.

"Shane, I.. I-" I try to breathe out, my head hurting from the push against the metal. Shane's hands touch my waist under my shirt and I'm breathless with the sensation. It's been forever since I've been touched by a man and I'm intoxicated from it. He grabs my waist tightly with his hands sending chills through my body and everything disappears.

He keeps his mouth on my neck and I work my hands over his belt again. His pants fall to his ankles and I follow them, putting my knees on the concrete. "Sadie" he mumbles my name with his hands through my hair as I work my mouth over his penis.

"Sophia, Carl! Get down!" A low whisper is heard through the wind and I stop what I'm doing.

"Did you hear that?" I ask him pulling away.

"Hear what? No, keep going, I'm almost there" he tries moving my head back to him.

I push back "no, stop" I argue but he keeps trying.

"Aww come on, it's nothing!" He's more forceful.

"Shh. Shh. Get down!" Another whisper is heard.

"Fuck!" Shane pushes me away from him now, and I fall on the ground as he pulls at his pants. He buttons up quickly and pulls the shotgun up off the ground, ready to cock it if he needs too. He looks around the corner of the truck and turns back to me with open eyes "under!" He mouths to me. I go to speak and ask what's going on but he just mouths "NOW!" So seriously that I listen. I put my back on the ground, already on the concrete from before and roll under the truck. Shane is next to me in an instant and 2, 4, 8, 16 plus feet are surrounding the truck. A group of dead passes by us in what feels like slow motion. I look up, chin on the ground and behind us is Carol and Lori and across from them I see 2 little feet under one truck and 2 others under another. I silently hope the group passes quickly and no one has to get hurt by any of them.


	12. Chapter 12: Running Off

Shane rolls out from the truck first, looking to the rest of the group and giving the clear for me to come out. The dead head group has passed to hearing distance now and I walk towards everyone and plant myself next to Shane. As we get there Lori and Carol are huddled together, Rick telling her something before running into the woods. I run over to them "where is he going?" I ask nervously watching him.

"They are after my girl!" Carol says through tears. Lori holds her, bringing her head to her shoulder and trying to console the inconsolable women. I go to the edge of road where the barrier is and stare into the woods looking for him and the girl, hoping for their safe return.

"What's goin' on?" Daryl's familiar low voice is next to me.

I eye him with a side glance before answering "Sophia is out there. Rick is going to get her." I explain simply.

"How'd that happen?" He questions. And I shrug back not really knowing the answer. "You're bleeding. Wa happened?" He reaches his hand to my head and pulls at the matted blood and hair.

"What?" My hand goes to my hair and pulls it back.

Daryl's hand moves from my head and points at me "what's tha?" He questions me looking down at my neck. I look at him nervously, unaware of what he's referring to and he drags me to the side of a car and let's me look at my reflection. I spot the hickey on my neck, below my ear. It's purple hue shouting how fresh it is to my skin. I cover it quickly with my hair. I look over to Shane, whose sitting with Carl and he looks back at me. "Him? Really?" Daryl puffs out before turning away.

Anger courses through me "what? You were hoping it'd be you?!" I yell back to him.

"As if" he spits back with a chuckle.

"Then what? Why do you keep trying to save me? I was ready to die, ready to end it all. No one asked you to save me. I sure as hell didn't ask you to save me" my anger is spilling through and others are starting to get closer "I didn't want to be rescued!"

"Hey, what's going on?" Dale is closest first. "Calm down Sadie." He puts his hand on my shoulder to try and calm me.

I go to storm away, not comfortable with all the attention on me "Sadie-Mae!" Daryl calls out to me. I stop, turning my head to glare at him with daggers. "That's my lucky shirt yew have there. I couldn't let that thing go down with you" his eyes glimmer from the sun, happy with his response.

I unwrap the old brown flannel from my waist and throw it on the ground at my feet before storming off to the RV. I storm into the truck where Andrea is fidgeting with a gun, taking it a part and putting it back together "you alright?" She asks me. I ignore her and make my way to the bathroom area. I rinse off the blood from my hair and brush it out as best as possible. I look closely in the mirror at the mark left there form Shane and try my best to cover it up.

After I've done all that I can I leave the RV and go back outside with everyone else. "Where is everybody?" I ask Lori when I notice how small the group is.

She sighs "Glenn, T-dog, Shane, and Daryl went off with Rick to find Sophia" she tells me.

I look at her with sad eyes "he didn't find her?" I worry.

"He did, but told her to hide while he drew the 2 walkers away to kill them. When he got back to the spot she was gone" she shakes her head walking towards the guardrail leaving me. I nod and decide to wander around the area while we wait, searching for supplies. I find a truck that someone must have found earlier with bottles of water. I smile as I open one up, letting it run down me like a shower. The Georgia heat keeping it warm as it slides down my clothes and skin.

Some more time passes when Shane, T-dog, and Glenn come back from looking. Rick and Daryl stay out there looking why the rest of us gather what we can. Andrea and I help Dale move some of the parked cars so we can turn the RV around. "Why aren't we all out there looking? Why are we moving cars?" Carol asks rubbing her arms with worry.

"We have to clear enough room so I can get the R.V. turned around as soon as it's running. Now that we have fuel we can double back to a bypass that Glenn flagged on the map." Dale explains to her as Andrea and I try to start another guy to move it.

"Going back's going to be easier than trying to get through this mess." Shane comes over to where we are all standing and adds in to the conversation.

"We're not going anywhere till my daughter gets back." Carol states

"Hey, that goes without saying." I add on, agreeing with her. She's just a little girl and we need to wait till we find her.

"Rick and Daryl, they're on it, okay? Just a matter of time." Shane tries to comfort her.

Andrea comments now "Can't be soon enough for me. I'm still freaked out from that herd that passed us by, or whatever you'd call it." She drinks from a bottle of water after passing one to Glenn and myself.

Glenn adds "Yeah, what was that? All of them just marching along like that."

"A herd." I agree with what Andrea said.

Shane does as well "That sounds about right. We've seen it. It's like the night camp got attacked. Some wandering pack, only fewer." he takes a deep breath out "Okay. Come on, people. We still got a lot to do." and moves away from everyone.

As I work along side Glenn we hear something come from a radio. We follow the sound to where Shane and Lori are, clearly interrupting whatever it was they were talking about "The emergency alert system has been activated. The Office of Civil Defense has issued the following message: Normal broadcasting will cease immediately. This is a civil emergency."

"Is that a local signal?" Glenn asks.

"It's got to be within 50 miles of here." Dale adds on.

"Avoid anyone infected at all costs. Remain calm. Help is on the way. The emergency alert system has been activated."

Shane turns the car off and walks to the back of the SUV, as everyone else leaves I follow behind him "everythin' okay?" I ask as he puts a suitcase in the back.

"I'm leavin' Sadie" he tells me before shutting the trunk.

"Leaving?" I question, following him.

He pauses at the drivers side door and sighs out "Gonna' slip out when it's quiet.. I can't stay here, not anymore" he shakes his head.

"Ok" is all I can think to respond with.

"You're more than welcome to come" he removes a piece of hair from my face, placing it behind my ear "maybe then we can finish what we started" he steps in closer, closing his lips on mine.

"You're more than welcome to come" he removes a piece of hair from my face, placing it behind my ear "maybe then we can finish what we started" he steps in closer, closing his lips on mine

"Maybe" I say between his lips and pushing him softly away "not now though" I whisper before walking away. I try to decide if I want to go with him, or stay here, with Rick and the others.


	13. Chapter 13: Searching

Carol see's Rick and Daryl coming back out of the woods, their eyes tired with defeat. "You didn't find her?" She cries out to them with fear and pain in every syllable.

"Her trail went cold." Daryl informs her regretfully.

"We'll pick it up again at first light." Rick adds, letting us know they aren't giving up.

Carol's cries for her daughter get louder "You can't leave my daughter out there on her own to spend the night alone in the woods."

Daryl tries to explain "Out in the dark's no good. We'd jus be tripping over ourselves. More people get lost."

"But she's 12. She can't be out there on her own." She argues "you didn't find anything?" She looks to Rick for some hope.

"I know this is hard. But I'm asking you not to panic. We know she was out there." he tells her, "And we tracked her for a while. We have to make this an organized effort. Daryl knows the woods better than anybody. I've asked him to oversee this." He looks to the man holding a bow.

"Is that blood?" I question, looking at his pant leg.

Carol's breath gets heavier "We took down a walker." Rick informs about the stain.

"Walker? Oh my God." Carol sighs out nervously.

"There was no sign it was ever anywhere near Sophia." He assures her.

Andrea steps in now "How can you know that?" she asks

Daryl sighs before answering "We cut the son of a bitch open, made sure." he says, looking at Carol to let her know he did what he had to do to make sure Sophia was not eaten by this thing.

"Oh God." she sighs, taking a seat on the railing, putting her hands on her head. Her attitude changes momentarily "How could you just leave her out there to begin with? How could you just leave her?" she begs to know. Lori and I sit on either side of her, trying to help console her.

"Those two walkers were on us. I had to draw them off. It was her best chance." Rick explains, defending his actions.

"Sounds like he didn't have a choice, Carol." I say rubbing her back, also defending what Rick chose to do.

She looks at me for a moment before bringing her attention back to Rick "How was she supposed to find her way back on her own? She's just a child. She's just a child." Tears falling from her face again.

"It was my only option. The only choice I could make." He responds to her, kneeling in front of her, willing for understanding.

"I'm sure nobody doubts that." Shane says to everyone.

"My little girl got left in the woods." Carol cries out.

The next morning comes quickly and we all meet in front of the RV door. Rick opens a rolled up sack of weapons "Everybody takes a weapon."

"These aren't the kind of weapons we need." Andrea argues at the sight of the knives and axes. "What about the guns?

"We've been over that." Shane says, resting against the Winnebago. "Daryl, Rick and I are carrying. We can't have people popping off rounds every time a tree rustles."

"It's not the trees I'm worried about." She spits back with an eye roll.

Shane pushes himself off the truck "Say somebody fires at the wrong moment, a herd happens to be passing by. See, then it's game over for all of us. So you need to get over it." he finishes telling her. Everyone else has taken a weapon and I'm relived there's nothing left for me to take. I just move along with everyone else as we prepare to head into the woods and find Sophia.

"The idea is to take the creek up about five miles, turn around and come back down the other side" Daryl explains to us all "Chances are she'll be by the creek. It's her only landmark.

Daryl walks away and Rick adds on "Stay quiet and stay sharp. Keep space between you but always stay within sight of each other."

Shane informs the group "Everybody assemble your packs."

"Keep on those repairs. We've got to get this R.V. ready to move." Rick tells Dale.

"We won't stay here a minute longer than we have to. Good luck out there. Bring Sophia back." He says and they leave him at the RV door.

Andrea walks over to Dale to try and get her gun from him. They begin to talk, or argue, about what happened between them at the CDC. Everyone standing around, waiting for her, listening to what they are saying. "And if I decided that I had nothing left to live for, who the hell are you to tell me otherwise?" her words resonate with me and I eye Daryl from where I'm standing. His eyes are already on me and they look down to the ground when they meet. "All I wanted after my sister died was to get out of this endless horrific nightmare we live every day." I hear her say and my stomach turns into knots, knowing all too well what she is feeling. "I wasn't hurting anyone else. You took my choice away, Dale. And you expect gratitude?" She spits to him.

"I don't know what to say." He stutters back baffled.

"I'm not your little girl. I'm not your wife. And I am sure as hell not your problem. That's all there is to say." She responds before storming past him. She leads the way off the highway and we head into the woods.

Daryl and Rick lead the way with Shane in the rear. We stay together, our eyes peeled in every direction as we search for her. An hour, then two and more pass us before we come across a tent set up deep in the woods "She could be in there" Shane says to the group.

"Could be a whole bunch of things in there." Daryl returns before moving in closer to get a better look. As he gets to the front of the tent he drops his bow, moving in to see if he can get a look inside. He looks over to Rick with a shrug.

"Carol." he motions for the mother to come up closer to him "Call out softly. If she's in there, yours is the first voice she should hear."

She nods understanding and begins to call out to her "Sophia, sweetie, are you in there? Sophia, it's mommy. Sophia. We're all here, baby. It's mommy." Nobody answers so Rick puts his hand up to tell her to stop.

Daryl begins unzipping the tent slowly, ready to let them attack if a dead one is inside. He opens the door and begins to cough out. Rick and Shane do the same as the rest of us wait for news. "Daryl? Daryl?" Rick calls to him.

"It ain't her." he calls back before exiting the tent in a huff.

"What's in there?" I ask wondering.

"Some guy." he tells the group "Did what Jenner said. Opted out." he looks at me in particular when he says that and I give him a deadly glare "Ain't that what he called it?" He adds on after my stare, like it was offensive.

As we stand there we begin to hear what sounds like church bells ringing in the distance "what direction?" Shane asks as we move into the woods to find where the sound is coming. I stay close behind Andrea as we move.

"I think that way. I'm pretty sure." Rick points a head of him.

"Damn, it's hard to tell out here." Shane shakes his head, wondering if Rick could be right.

"If we heard them, maybe Sophia did too." Carol says with hope in her voice.

"Someone's ringing those bells, maybe calling others." Glenn offers an idea.

Andrea has one of her own she says as she passes him "Or signaling they found her."

"She could be ringing them herself. Come on!" Rick insists and we all move forward. We all run forward, jumping over tree logs and shuffling through dead leaves. We reach a small graveyard with a white church behind it in a clearing.

"That can't be it. Got no steeple, no bells." Shane tries to halt Rick from moving in "Rick!" he yells but he keeps moving. They move up to the red doors and Shane, Rick and Daryl all take a quiet weapon to attack with once the doors open and we all find 3 of the walkers sitting. They stand up to eat and each attack one, killing them quickly.

They stand up to eat and each attack one, killing them quickly

"SOPHIA!" Rick calls out loudly opening a side door.

A few of us step further into the church now. I hear Daryl comment at the statue in the middle of the alter "Yo, J.C., you takin' requests?" he mocks and I chuckle at his joke.

"I'm telling you, it's the wrong church. Its got no steeple, Rick. There's no steeple." Shane tries to tell Rick he's wrong but suddenly more bells are going off and they are right around us. We all swarm outside to find where they are coming from and easily find the speaker it's coming out of.

"A timer. It's on a timer." Glenn says holding the ripped out wires from stopping it.

Carol comments "I'm gonna go back in for a bit" with a blank stare and I follow her inside.

When we all gather back around outside, Shane speaks up "Y'all gonna follow the Creek Bed back, okay? Daryl, you're in charge. Me and Rick, we're just gonna hang back, search this area another hour or so just to be thorough." He explains.

"You're splitting us up. You sure?" Daryl asks with hesitation.

"Yeah, we'll catch up to you." Shane confirms.

Carl pipes in " I want to stay too." I move away from listening distance, not wanting to get involved in their family business. A minute passes and we are leaving, following Daryl back to the other side of the creek.

Carol eventually stops plopping herself down on a falling tree branch "So this is it?" She asks "this is the whole plan?"

Daryl rests against a tree "I guess the plan is to whittle us down into smaller and smaller groups."

Andrea coifs "Carrying knives and pointy sticks. I see you have a gun" she looks to Lori.

"Why, you want it?" Lori motions her hand out to Andrea, offering the weapon "Here, take it. I'm sick of the looks you're giving me." She spits out. Andrea takes it "all of you" she adds while sitting down. I keep myself separated from the small circle formed, resting against another tree "Honey, I can't imagine what you're going through. And I would do anything to stop it. But you have got to stop blaming Rick." Her hands rest on her lap "It is in your face every time you look at him. When Sophia ran he didn't hesitate, did he? Not for a second." She pauses, pulling something out of her bag "I don't know that any of us would have gone after her the way he did or made the hard decisions that he had to make or that anybody could have done it any differently. Anybody? Y'all look to him and then you blame him when he's not perfect. If you think you can do this without him, go right ahead. Nobody is stopping you." She finishes before taking a small sip of water and replacing it.

Andrea goes to return the weapon back to Lori "We should keep moving." she says and Lori accepts it, placing it back in the waistband of her jeans.

We move on now, heading back towards our cars. As we do, a gun shot goes off in the distance. We all stop our feet and wait for more, but nothing else follows the sound except the critters of the woods shaking off the sound of the bullet.


	14. Chapter 14: An Empty Return

"You still worrying about it?" I ask Lori as she turns around for the 4th time.

"It was a gunshot." She responds.

"We all heard it." Daryl adds on annoyed, Lori slowing us down each time she turns to look and wonder.

"Why one- Why just one gunshot?" She asks

Carol shrugs "Maybe they took down a walker." he offers.

"Please don't patronize me." Lori quick spits back "You know Rick wouldn't risk a gunshot to put down one walker, or Shane. They'd do it quietly." She says, although we all know that to be true.

"Shouldn't they have caught up with us by now?" Carol asks worriedly.

"There's nothing we can do about it, anyway. Can't run around these woods chasing echoes." Daryl tells us all.

"So, what do we do?" I ask, waiting for direction.

Daryl repeats the plan again "Same as we've been. Beat the bush for Sophia, work our way back to the highway."

"I'm sure they'll hook up with us back at the RV." Andrea tries to encourage Lori, but I take it to heart, hoping it to be true.

"I'm sorry for what you're going through. I know how you feel." Andrea talks to Carol. The rest of us waiting for them.

"I suppose you do- Thank you." She responds. Carol looks through the rest of us. The thought of her, out here by herself... It's the not knowing that's killin' me." she pauses for a moment "I just keep hopin' and prayin' she doesn't wind up like Amy." I let out a sigh at her words, feeling awful for Andrea. Carol catches on though to what she said "Oh, God! That's the worst thing I ever said." she reaches for Andrea's hands.

"We're all hoping and praying with you, for what it's worth." Andrea doesn't let her feelings show, instead consoling the mother.

"I'll tell ya what it's worth-" Daryl steps up to them. "Not a damn thing. It's a waste of time, all this hopin' and prayin'. We're gonna locate that little girl. She's gonna be just fine." And he begins to lead the way again "Am I the only one zen around here? Good lord!" He comments heading into the woods.

" And he begins to lead the way again "Am I the only one zen around here? Good lord!" He comments heading into the woods

We all follow him, Lori looking behind again "Come on, let's go" I whisper touching her shoulder to get her to move on.

The sun is now on our backs as we make our way back to the highway "how much farther?" Andrea asks tiredly. I'm happy she's the one to ask, even though it crossed my mind a hundred times myself.

"Not much.." Daryl tells her not looking back "maybe a hundred yards, as the crow flies" he says.

Andrea quips back "Too bad we're not crows" she says sarcastically.

I chuckle at her response and steer myself off a little from the group still within eye shot. I walk through a spider web, grossed out and squirm to get it off of me. As I listen to another comment Andrea is making a walker comes out from behind a tree and lunches at me. "Ahhh!" I scream out afraid. It keeps coming closer and I try to push it back, nothing to defend myself with. "Ahhhh. Help!" I screech. I stumble backwards more to try and get away but trip on something, my back against the ground. I scream with fear, not wanting to die this way. I hear them screaming my name but no one is close enough to help me. As I try to kick at it, it doesn't seem to slow it down. "Ah, ahhh.." I scream out. All of a sudden a person riding a horse knocks it away from me with an Ax.

"Lori? Lori grimes? Whoa!" The women says panting, trying to slow down the horse.

The rest of them are across from me now, across from her, looking at the girl and the horse "I'm Lori." the women finds who she's looking for.

"Rick sent me- You've got to come now." she says in a hurry.

"What?" A few of them spit out, confused at what is unfolding here.

She repeats quickly, trying to control the horse from further movement "There's been an accident- Carl's been shot. He's still alive but you've gotta come now." she says, panic coming across Lori's face "Rick needs you- Just come!" She urges!

Lori begins to take off her pack and Daryl argues against her going "Whoa-whoa-whoa! We don't know this girl. You can't get on that horse!"

"Rick said you had others on the highway, that big traffic snarl?" She says as Lori moves closer to get on.

"Uh-huh." Glenn responds, knowing what she was referring to.

"Backtrack to Fairburn road. Two miles down is our farm. You'll see the mailbox. Name's Greene." She explains before kicking at the horse to move on back to where ever their farm is.

We all watch in confusion as she rides away. The walker that almost ate me begins to wheeze itself off the ground "Shut up." Daryl snorts at it, putting an arrow through it's skull and walking towards me. "Damn it Sadie-Mae, why you go off on by yerself?" Daryl offers me his hand to help me up.

I accept it, still startled by what just almost happened to me "I..I don't.. sorry" I say back to him, not really knowing anymore why I did.

He rolls his eyes "just stay close by" he snaps back and continues on to the highway.

We get back to the road and inform Dale and T-dog what happened. We meet up in a circle to talk about what we are going to do next "I won't do it. We can't just leave" Carol protests the option of going to the farm, wanting to wait for her daughter.

"Carol," Dale speaks "the group is split, We're scattered and weak."

She shakes her head "What if she comes back and we're not here?" we all look at her "It could happen."

"If Sophia found her way back and we were gone, that would be awful." Andrea says to us all.

"Okay. We gotta plan for this then" I add on, understanding.

Daryl agrees "I say tomorrow morning is soon enough to pull up stakes. Give us a chance to rig a big sign, leave her some supplies. I'll hold here tonight, stay with the RV." Daryl tells us all, offering himself behind to wait in case she returns.

"If the RV is stayin', I am too." Dale adds.

"Thank you. Thank you both." Carol graciously responds.

"I'm in." I say, wanting to help anyway I can.

"Well, if you're all staying then I'm-" Glenn tries to say but Dale interrupts him

"not you, Glenn- You're going. Take-take Carol's Cherokee."

Glen protests "Me? Why is it always me?" he asks like a child.

Dale explains "You have to find this farm, reconnect with our people and see what's going on- But most important, you have to get T-dog there. This is not an option. That cut has gone from bad to worse. He has a very serious blood infection." He says. I look over at him, covered in a blanket even in the Georgia heat. "Get him to that farm. See if they have any antibiotics. Because if not, T-dog will die, no joke." He says with a serious look and widened eyes.

Daryl moves to the motorcycle he rode in on, throwing something at Dale's feet "Keep your oily rags off my brother's motorcycle." He then puts a bag of pill bottles on the hood of a run down car "Why'd you wait till now to say anything? Got my brother's stash." He begins to dig through it "Crystal, x- Don't need that. Got some kick ass painkillers. Doxycycline. Not the generic stuff neither. It's first class." He throws two different bottles towards Glenn and Dale "Merle got the clap on occasion." he shrugs walking away.

"You sure it was Merle?" I joke after him. Andrea and Glenn laugh along with me as Daryl just snarls in my direction, not laughing at the joke I made.


	15. Chapter 15: Search Party

"Sadie" I hear a female say my name

"Sadie" I hear a female say my name. "What are you doing out here?" The light gets closer and I can see Andrea and Daryl walking towards me.

"I'm looking for Sophia" I tell them blankly.

"By yourself?" Daryl grunts at me with jaded eyes.

I shrug "seems pretty quiet out right now." I see they are walking the way I was coming from "I went down a little ways, nothing so far." I inform them, thinking there's no point for them to go.

"Can't hurt to look a bit more" Andrea says with a soft smile. I shrug agreeing and turn around to walk with the two of them. A few more steps in and Andrea asks us "You really think we're gonna find Sophia?"

He shines a light on me and looks carefully for something, he then shines it on Andrea "You got that look on you're face same as everybody else." he comments. "What the hell is wrong with you people? We just started looking." he says putting the light back into the woods.

"Well, do you?" She pushes for an answer.

"Of course" I say in a loud whisper, really believing we'll find her. We need to find her, she's just a child.

"It ain't the mountains of Tibet. It's Georgia. She could be holed up in a farmhouse somewhere. People get lost and they survive. It happens all the time." Daryls says to us both.

"She's only 12." Andrea adds for emphasis to get her own point across.

"Hell, I was younger than her and I got lost." Daryl says. "Nine days in the woods eating berries, wiping my ass with poison oak."

I stop for only a moment, shining my light on him "they found you?"

"My old man was off on a bender with some waitress. Merle was doing another stint in juvie. Didn't even know I was gone." He turns to tell me before walking on again "I made my way back though. Went straight into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich. No worse for wear. Except my ass itched something awful." He tells us.

Andrea starts to laugh and I do as well, trying to cover it up with my hand "I'm sorry," she says trying to stop "I'm sorry, that is a terrible story" but her laughter continues.

All 3 of us look at each other and laugh some more, even Daryl chuckles. Daryl interrupts it soon after it starts though and adds "only difference is Sophia's got people looking for her. I call that an advantage."

I nod in agreement and we keep going. The three of us come across a tent, and hear someone gagging. We run down and come across a geek hanging in a tree, turned into one of them. "What the hell?" Daryl says going closer. Andrea pauses behind him, trying not to throw up. Daryl reads off of something "Got bit. Fever hit. World gone to shit. Might as well quit." He looks back to us "Dumb ass didn't know enough to shoot himself in the head. Turned himself into a big swinging piece of bait. And a mess."

Andrea groans out "You all right?" I ask her.

"Trying not to puke." She responds.

Daryl encourages her "Go ahead if you gotta."

"No, I'm fine. Let's just talk about something else for a minute." She holds at her stomach trying to keep it down.

"How'd you learn to shoot?" I ask Daryl, spitting out the first thing that came to my mind.

"Gotta eat. That's one thing these walkers and us have in common. I guess it's the closest he's been to food since he turned. Hanging up there like a big pinata." He steps closer "The other geeks came and ate all the flesh off his legs." He taps at one of them with his bow.

Andrea then hurls onto the ground "I thought we were changing the subject." she says afterwards, wiping at her mouth.

"Call that payback for laughing about my itchy ass." He turns to her. I chuckle at his words and he looks to me "you got some comin' too, don't ya worry Sadie-Mae" a smirk crossing his lips. I stick my tongue out at him in response with a smirk.

"There wasn't a lot that came up." Andrea then adds.

"Huh. Let's head back." Daryl turns to leave

"Aren't you gonna..." I trail off, wondering why he isn't killing that thing.

Andrea slowly walks back to the way we came from "Nah, he ain't hurting nobody. Ain't gonna waste an arrow either. He made his choice. Opted out. Let him hang." he looks at me with something in his eyes "You want to live now or end up like this poor son a bitch?" he asks as I look at the man in the tree pondering "It's just a question." he adds on.

"I've never really felt like I was living before anyway. Not for a long, long time at least." I try to explain.

Daryl shoots the dead in it's head with an arrow "Not much of an answer." he sighs.

"Waste of an arrow then" I say to him and he nods before we both go and follow Andrea out of the area.

We make our way back to the RV and as we approach we watch Carol make her way inside. I follow behind Daryl and we close the door, Dale wanting to talk with Andrea. Carol cuddles herself in a ball on the bed, weeping for Sophia.

"It's not right" I say in a whisper to myself.

"What ain't?" Daryl asks me lying on the floor with his eyes closed.

"What?" I'm drawn to his voice "oh, nothing. Just talking to myself" I return to him.

He pushes himself up on his elbow "they say the crazy do that" he raises an eyebrow.

I shake my head "you're only crazy when you answer yourself back" I smirk back.

He chuckles "guess that's true.." He says closing his eyes again.


	16. Chapter 16: Cherokee Rose

We get to the farm the next morning after leaving some supplies and a sign for Sophia. We get the good news that Carl will be okay, thanks to Hershel and his family. He owns the farm that were on and allows us to set up camp a some yards away from the home. I help Lori and Glenn set up some tents after parking the RV by some trees. I see a few others gathering by a truck and make my way over there "How long has this girl been lost?" The owner of the farm asks.

"This'll be day three." Rick informs him.

"County survey map. Shows terrain and elevations." His daughter Maggie comes over unrolling a large piece of paper on the hood of the old truck.

"This is perfect." I say putting a rock in a corner, standing next to Shane.

"We can finally get this thing organized. We'll grid the whole area, start searching in teams." Rick states taking a look at the map.

Hershel shoots him down "Not you. Not today. You gave three units of blood. You wouldn't be hiking five minutes in this heat before passing out." Rick looks down at his feet "And your ankle. Push it now, you'll be laid up a month, no good to anybody." He directs to Shane.

"Guess it's just me." Daryl swings his bow around his shoulder "I'm gonna head back to the creek, work my way from there."

Shane argues will Hershel "I can still be useful. I'll drive up to the interstate, see if Sophia wandered back." Wanting to help. "I can go with you" I say looking at him. He ignores my comment and just stares at Rick.

"All right, tomorrow then. We'll start doing this right." Rick nods.

"That means we can't have our people out there with just knives. They need the gun training we've been promising them." Shane says, aware of fact not many have guns on them.

Hershel responds "I'd prefer you not carrying guns on my property. We've managed so far without turning this into an armed camp."

Shane disagrees "All due respect, you get a crowd of those things wandering in here..."

But Rick interrupts "Look, we're guests here. This is your property and we will respect that."

I leave the group then, annoyed with Shane ignoring me and not wanting to be around to discuss the choices of weapon carrying on the farm.

I wander off towards Dale to see if he needs help keeping watch "want me to take over?" I yell up to him on top the RV.

"Would ya?" He responds and I nod "great" he sighs beginning his way down "gonna figure out the water situation here, see what we can scramble together."

He hands me the binoculars and tells me the rifle is resting against his chair "won't need it" I smile, hiding my real feelings for the thing.

"You never know" he smiles back leaving me to it. I climb up on top and start off by covering myself in sun block. The Georgia heat wearing on me already. I sit in the chair under the umbrella and watch.

Some time passes before I see Daryl leaving Rick by the front of the house, going to look for Sophia. I wanted to help him but he seems pretty pissed off, and I don't want to get in his way.

Dale and T-dog gather up who they can and I go down to see what the problem is. As I get closer with everyone else I hear the sounds of one of them. We peak in and Dale comments "looks like we've got us a swimmer"

"How long you think it has been down there?" I question with a gross look towards it, the body clearly decayed and bloated from the liquid.

"Long enough to grow gills." Andrea jokes about it.

"We can't leave it in there." Lori states "God knows what it's doing to the water."

Shane comes up with the plan "We got to get it out. Easy. Put a bullet in its head." He walks around the hole staring at the thing

"I'll get a rope." T-dog offers.

Maggie steps in then "Whoa whoa, guys. No." She shoots it down.

"Why not? It's a good plan." Glenn asks.

"It's a stupid plan" Andrea spits back. If that thing hasn't contaminated the water yet, blowing its brains out will finish the job." She says informing us of that chance.

"She's right." Shane agrees with her "Can't risk it."

T-dog asks the question were all thinking now "so it has to come out alive?"

"So to speak." Shane says

"How do we do that?" I ask then, not sure of a good way that could be done.

We watch as a piece of meat dangles from a rope down into the pit of water. "He's not going for it." Dale comments.

"Maybe 'cause a canned ham don't kick and scream when you try to eat it." T-dog adds on.

Lori agrees with him "He's right. There's a reason the dead didn't come back to life and start raiding our cupboards."

"We need live bait." Andrea suggests.

"What?" I ask startled. Everyone looks at Glenn and their thoughts come to mind "no. You can't be serious!" I spit out but no one answers me and keeps looking at him. He eventually nods, understanding what needs to be done. "I'm not being a part of this!" I spit out before storming away to take watch over at the RV again. Using Glenn as live bait is inhumane.

I try not to watch the scene from up top, my stomach in knots as it is already. I suddenly here a pipe burst off and everyone screaming. I jump down from the RV, ignoring the pain from my ankle and dart over to help them get him out! "Pull! Pull!" Shane shouts as we all are gathered together at the base of the well to keep him from falling.

"Get me out! Get me out!" Glenn screams loudly for his life. We keep pulling, stumbling over one another to get him out.

It seems like minutes pass before we get him out, everyone huffing out air, out of breathe. He grabs the pipe and pulls himself out quickly "well, back to the drawing board" Dale breaths heavily into the air.

"Speak for yourself" Glenn throws a rope at him and walks away. Dale grabs at it and tugs, the weight of something keeping it from coming up further. We all look into the pit at the geek, wrapped by the rope.

"Thata boy!" Shane calls out to him rubbing his hand across his head. I shake my head appalled and walk away, still not wanting to encourage these people and their crazy antics.

I shake my head appalled and walk away, still not wanting to encourage these people and their crazy antics

I wander into the RV where Carol is cleaning up "what are you doing?" I ask her.

"Trying to stay busy, make it something nice for her" she says without looking up from the dish she is washing.

"Let me help you" I offer her, putting my hand on her shoulder and taking the sponge. She smiles at me, allowing me to take it and moves to the bed to make it. I stay in there helping her for awhile until everything is cleaned up "I'll just use the restroom and get out of your way" I say to her before closing the door to the small bathroom.

Before I could leave the tiny space, I hear the door to the RV open and listen as a conversation takes place "a flower?" Carol asks whomever it is.

"It's a Cherokee rose." Daryl's voice oozes through the door "The story is that when American soldiers were moving Indians off their land on the trail of tears the Cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much 'cause they were losing their little ones along the way" he pauses only for a moment "from exposure and disease and starvation. A lot of them just disappeared. So the elders, they said a prayer; asked for a sign to uplift the mothers' spirits, give them strength and hope. The next day this rose started to grow right where the mothers' tears fell." He stops again before adding on "I'm not fool enough to think there's any flowers blooming for my brother. But I believe this one bloomed for your little girl." He tells her. I feel a small tear roll from my face and wipe it away quickly. "She's gonna really like it in here." He says before I hear the door to the RV open and close again.

" He says before I hear the door to the RV open and close again


	17. Chapter 17: Woodland Secrets

Rick walks up to the truck we're all surrounded by "All right, everyone's getting new search grids today. If she made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found, she might have gone further east than we've been so far." he explains looking down at the map.

"I'd like to help." Jimmy steps up from the side of everyone. "I know the area pretty well and stuff."

Rick asks him "Hershel's okay with this?"

"Yeah yeah. He said I should ask you." Jimmy responds.

"All right then. Thanks." He says

Shane pipes in now from the passenger side door of the truck "Nothing about what Daryl found screams Sophia to me. Anyone could have been holed up in that farmhouse."

I add on "Anybody includes her, right?" and some of the others nod to agree.

"Whoever slept in that cupboard was no bigger than yay-high." Daryl reminds him.

Andrea encourages Daryl's find "It's a good lead. Maybe we'll pick up her trail again."

"No maybe about it." Daryl retorts "I'm gonna borrow a horse, head up to this ridge right here, take a bird's-eye view of the whole grid. If she's up there, I'll spot her."

"I'd like to come too, help look out up there" I say to the group, to him. He glares at me and I can't tell if he is going to go along with it.

"Good idea." Rick says, stomping out any protest Daryl might have put up.

T-dog points at the map "Maybe you'll see your chupacabra up there too."

"Chupacabra?" Rick and I say at the same time curious.

"You never heard this?" Dale asks and I shake my head no "Our first night in camp, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra."

Jimmy chuckles at the short story "What are you braying at, jackass?" he snorts to the young boy.

"You believe in a blood-sucking dog?" Jimmy asks with a smile still on his face.

"Do you believe dead people walking around?" Daryl retorts before walking away. I give the young boy a half-hearted smile trying to tell him not to worry about it and follow Daryl as he walks to the barn for a horse. We get to the barn and walk inside slowly "you ever ride a horse before Sadie-Mae?" He asks as we get to a stable.

I shake my head no "not on my own. I rode on the back of one with Rick on the way in to Atlanta" I explain, admiring the brown beauty we are standing in front of.

He sighs "fine, we take one then" and he starts to prep the horse for riding "alright, hop on, I'll help you up" he bends down his knees a little and cuffs his hands for me to step in. I put one foot in and he lifts up his knees and gives me some height to get on.

He removes one hand from my heal and pushes up at my back upper thigh. His grip startling and tickling me and I squirm at it "ahhhhaha" I say chuckling as I get on.

He guides the horse out of the stall and to an area with something he can step on. He swings his leg around, and I lean back giving him room so he can saddle himself comfortably "aight, don' go making any loud noises, scarin' the horse or nothin'" he comments before kicking at it to get it moving forward. We ride silently to the creek, the hot air hitting my face with force. I try to bury my face into Daryl's back to block it from the bugs and sun, but the ride is too bumpy to do any real good.

I try to bury my face into Daryl's back to block it from the bugs and sun, but the ride is too bumpy to do any real good

"You see anything down there?" I ask him after he hops off the horse to try and get a better look of what's below.

"Naw, nothin' yet.. wait, wait" he says climbing down something. He moves out of my eyesight and I wait impatiently for him to return. "SOPHIA!" I hear his voice call out loudly "SOPHIA!" he calls again.

"what, what is it?" I ask in a hurry when I see him again "what'd you find?" I stare at him for answers.

"Her doll" He says coming over to show me. I look it over as he hops back on the horse and I hand it back to him. He kisses for the horse to keep moving and it listens. As we keep our eyes open for any sign of Sophia something startles the horse and it whinnies back, throwing us both off "whoah, whoah" Daryl tries to calm it before we both fall hard as it runs away.

I tumble through leaves, dirt, mud, and bugs down a hill, hitting rocks and branches on the way. I do my best to try and protect my head as I slide down. My body eventually hits the ground and I realize I've fallen into the creek. "owe" I groan as I try to stand up, aware of the gash that my arm is now sporting. "Daryl?" I call out to him, holding my arm. I panic, feeling afraid to be on my own when I hear his groans coming from a little ways ahead of me. I stumble towards him, my ankle worse now after jumping to help Glenn the day before. I try to ignore the pain I'm feeling but it quickly pushes itself down when I notice the arrow jutting out of Daryl's side. "Oh, Daryl" I say as he moans some more. He sits up and begins to move away from me, to the other side of the creek. "Stop, Daryl. Stop!" I call after him, trying to stay with him as he moves away. "You need to take care of the wound" I tell him.

He falls to his knees after reaching the other side and rips at his sleeve, tearing a piece off "help me with this, would ya'?" He tosses it to me. I nod taking the fabric and wrap it around his waist. He huffs out quickly, trying to contain the pain as I tie it tightly above the wound "how'd you know to do that?" He asks after I've tied it.

I sigh out, helping him stand using my body for support "I temped in a hospital, learned a few things" I explain.

"that were you and Rick meet up?" He asks as we move forward together.

"Yaaaa" I say drawing out the word, stunned by what's in front of us "that's gotta be at least 15 feet, right?" I say in awe bringing his attention back to the struggle at hand.

"Lets go" he says, grabbing a hold of a a large stick off the ground. We begin to make our to go up the rocks but pause when bushes across the way rustle. We pause, waiting for something or someone to come out but nothing does. Daryl begins the climb, and I follow his steps closely as he goes. We both struggle making it up, but some how manage to get half way. I try and take a breather but he keeps moving "You've done half. Stop being such a pussy." he says from above.

"what?" I question, confused at why he said that.

He turns to me like he forgot I was there "nothin' just talkin' out loud" he repeats.

I smile "you know what they say" and a grin comes across his face before he returns his attention back to the climb.

He takes 2 steps upwards but looses his grip and begins to fall "Shit.. no, no.." I hear him stammer and he tumbles backwards on top of me and I fall down as well with him. When we plummet to the ground and we hit hard. My head spins more and my body aches with pain as I try to sit up, too dizzy to actually move.

I lay there, injured, trying to listen to Daryl speak "Tried like hell to find you, bro." I try to murmur out to him, but nothing comes out. "We went back for you. Rick and I, we did right by you." A little bit of time passes and we are both just lying on the ground "I ain't nobody's bitch." he mumbles and I try to lift my head to figure out what he's talking about but can't due to how heavy it feels. Suddenly I hear him fighting something off, he's panicking and the energy to look up courses through me. He's just turned a walker on it's back and is trying to kill it with whatever energy he has when I finally spot him. I scramble to my knee's to crawl over and do whatever I can to help. By the time I reach him he's hacked at the dead's head with a stick.

He leans back and starts to work at the arrow in his side "you shouldn't!" I yell at him trying to stop him

He leans back and starts to work at the arrow in his side "you shouldn't!" I yell at him trying to stop him.

"you gon' kill that thing?" he looks up at the walker getting closer. I help pull out the arrow and cover his wound with both my hands as he tries to yank the bow to place it in. He scoots back as it clicks in to get a shot and it goes right into its forehead. We both fall back onto the ground and pant, exhausted with everything that happened.

"Daryl" I try to get out, half his body on mine as we lay on the ground. My eyes begin to close, too tired to stay awake any further.

"Sadie-Mae." A soft voice is calling to me. "Sadie-Mae, get up!"

Her little voice wakes me up "Joanna Beth?" I smile, her blue dress shining in the light "what are you doing here?" I smile back, happy to see her again, its been so long.

"Sadie-Mae. Come on!" Her voice is now lower and I blink, not sure what happened. I look back to where she was standing and she's gone.

I sit up quickly, dizzy from the movement and see Daryl in front of me "you iight?" he asks, kneeling in front of me.

I nod my head once and get a good look at his wound "we need to bandage that" I point to it. He nods and stands up, hobbling over to the side of the creek to take a seat. He sits down and I tug at the other sleeve of his shirt. He folds a piece of it up and I help wrap it again, making sure it's all pressed against the entry and exit wound tightly. "Son of a bitch was right." Daryl comments before standing up to walk away.

"You know you were talking to someone back there before" I call out to him. He doesn't turn back to me though and takes a seat on a log after grabbing his squirrel from earlier. I walk over and sit across from him "did you see someone?" I ask him knowing a thing or two about that.

He eyes me for one second before digging the knife into the squirrel "my brother" he adds after taking a bite of raw meat "who's Joanna Beth?" He asks me a question now before taking another bite. My heart sinks at the mention of her name. "She your sister or somethin'?" He asks and he begins to lick the blood off his fingers. I nod quickly and turn to the side and hurl what little is left in my body, some blood coming out with it.

He chuckles a little "what?" I spit at him annoyed.

"Told ya you'd get yours" he adds, referring to the other night when Andrea and I laughed about his itchy ass. I roll my eyes and look away as he continues to eat.

We climb again, taking our time, knowing that one more fall could be the end of either of us. Daryl is still above me, but I gave him more room between us, worried he may slip again. He starts to pant out, and get agitated "I like it better when you was missing" he comments.

"Daryl, he's not there!" I try and yell up to him.

"Yeah? Since when?" He spits out not listening to me. "Yew never took care of me. You talk a big game but you was never there. Hell, yew ain't here now. Guess some things never change." He continues talking to his brother that isn't there and climbing.

I yell out to him "Come on Daryl, he's not there.. knock it off" I try to get him to stop, the way he's talking making me worried.

"I know what I saw." he spits angrily, swinging himself between some branches. "You'd best shut the hell up." He argues "Leave her out of it!" He adds glancing at me for only a moment. I pause where I am, worried he's going crazy from the loss of blood or an early on set of an infection. I look up at him again but he's gone, pulled up to the top of the mountainside. "Ya, you betta run!" I hear him call out in the empty air. I stay waiting and soon enough his head pops out from the side "you comin' or what?" He asks impatiently with his hand out for me to grab. I eye him quizzically, nervous to take his hand "I ain't gon' let you die on my watch. Now, let's go!" He shouts to me.


	18. Chapter 18: Fixed Up

We drudge back through the woods to make our way back to the farm. "Daryl, stop..I'm.." I try and explain but fall to the ground from exhaustion.

He stumbles back a few steps to me and kneels "what is it" his eyes search mine for answers.

I shake my head and stand back up with his help "nothing, let's go" I try and move forward.

He grabs my arm to stop me, his strength wavering as I pull it away easily "your arm" he says. I look down and shrug at it, used to the sensation of dripping blood. He steps closer, his breath in my face and stares at me. His hand reaches my side and tugs at my shirt, ripping the fabric at my stomach. "Shoulda done this before" he grumbles.

"It's just a cut" I return, letting him tie it for me.

His eyes go into slits as he stares at me, trying to cover my arm "don't gotta be a temp to know you stop the bleeding" he throws shade my way before heading forward again. We continue on slowly, with him occasionally looking back at me to make sure I'm still close by. "Hey, I see the clearing!" He calls back at me a bit later.

I sigh relieved, worry already had creeped into my brain that we would never make it back there "good!" I tell back in a huff "I'll be right there!" I add, taking a seat on a rock right at the edge of the woods and the clearing

I sigh relieved, worry already had creeped into my brain that we would never make it back there "good!" I tell back in a huff "I'll be right there!" I add, taking a seat on a rock right at the edge of the woods and the clearing. He throws one hand to the side without looking at me, as if to say whatever and keeps going. I keep my head down, trying to control the dizziness when a small gunshot rings through the air. My head jerks up fast, just in time to see Daryl falling to the ground. I clammer to my feet shouting "NOOOO!" as I try and reach him, stumbling over my tired body. His eyes wide with confusion as he looks up to me "you're okay" I tell him putting my hand over the wound on the side of his head.

"What the hell?" Rick stumbles towards us, stopping at the sight in front of him "are you okay?" He asks me, coming to my side and trying to help me up.

"Daryl, help him!" I keep myself on the ground holding the wound, trying to help him.

Shane and Rick put themselves on each side of him as he passes out. They start to drag him towards the barn. I slowly stand and wobble on my own feet. "Oh my God, is he dead?" Andrea comes over worrying.

"Unconscious." I shout back, angry she even shot at us.

"You just grazed him." Shane adds as they move along.

"But look at him. What the hell happened?" She asks with wide eyes.

Glenn comments "He's wearing ears." and everyone looks at the necklace strung around him.

"I told him he didn't have to do that" I add from behind.

"Let's keep that to ourselves." Ricks then says, pulling the necklace from his neck and stuffing it down his shirt.

T-dog speaks up next to me "Guys, isn't this Sophia's?" he holds up the ragged doll when everyone turns around to look. They drag him forward and I sigh onto my knees with relief, we actually made it back.

Andrea, Dale & T-Dog come over to me "come on, we got you" Dale offers me his arm to help me get inside

Andrea, Dale & T-Dog come over to me "come on, we got you" Dale offers me his arm to help me get inside. I accept and they slowly dredge me inside.

"There's no more rooms, put her in here and I'll take a look when I'm done with the gunshot wound" Hershel tells us when we get in the front door. They help lower me down onto a chair and the small room is extra crowded with 7 people inside. "I'll need some space" he says to everyone else in the room and they all pile out. "You stay" he directs to Rick before he can exit. Rick nods his head and shuts the door. "Unwrap her arm and clean it off, she may need stitches" He directs him to help me.

"I'm fine, just help him" I sigh tiredly, closing my eyes.

T-dog brings in some water and I gulp it down before he even gets out of the room. He takes the cup again with a smirk and leaves to get me more. "I'm fine here, you need to let us help you" the old man looks me in the eyes with something serious.

I nod back, not wanting to argue and Rick squats down next to me. He slowly works at the make-shift bandage at my arm and throws it on the floor when it's off. He grabs some peroxide to clean it off and apologizes before he puts it on. The stinging courses through me and I squirm in pain "what's all this" he asks, my attention being pulled out from the pain to see what he's referring too.

I look down and blush with embarrassment, he eyes me curiously at the scars and I nod to him "exactly what it looks like" I say through closed lips. He's not stupid, he knows what they are. He shakes his head, eyes going back down and finishes wiping at the blood on my arm. Although I'm angry he would even ask, I'm ashamed he saw it. My scars are my scars, no one else's to worry about.

"Alright. We're lucky this just grazed him" The old man takes off the gloves he was wearing and turns to me "now let's get a look at that arm." He puts a few stitches there and wraps me up. When he's about done Daryl comes too, his eyes flickering through the room before he realizes where he is. He tries to sit up but Hershel stops him "no, no, you need to stay there. I still need to take care of that wound on your side." he points in his direction.

He goes back over to him on the bed and begins to work on the arrow wound. Eventually, Rick leaves from sitting next to me and gets closer to Daryl to show him the doll "where did you find this?" he asks in a low soft voice.

He responds while trying to ignore the pain from getting stitched " I found it washed up on the creek bed, right there."

"She must have dropped it crossing there to somewhere." I add on. All 3 of the men look at me.

"Cuts the grid almost in half." Rick partly smiles looking from me to Daryl then Hershel.

"Yeah, you're welcome." Daryl snarls sarcastically as Hershel ties a knot in the suture.

"How they looking?" Rick asks him as both of us lay tired where we are.

Hershel sighs "I had no idea we'd be going through the antibiotics so quickly." he tells him. Throwing gloves away in a trash bin "Any idea what happened to my horse?" He asks Daryl.

He coifs back "Yeah, the one who almost killed us? If it's smart, it left the country." I chuckle lowly to myself at his words.

"We call that one Nelly, as in nervous Nelly." Hershel explains to us all "I could have told you she'd throw you if you'd bothered to ask." his voice coming off harsh. "It's a wonder you people have survived this long." He comments before leaving the room.

Rick follows him out and the door shuts behind us. "What, they got no other space on this farm at all?" Daryl comments when he see's me looking at him, covering himself with the sheet.

I roll my eyes "I'll be outta here by mornin'" I comment back, too tired to leave now. I lay my head back on the chair and close my eyes, happy the pain medicine is kicking in.

"How are you feeling?" Carol's voice brings me too. I keep my eyes close and just listen, not wanting to bring any attention to myself.

Daryl huffs back to her "As good as I look."

"I brought you both some dinner." she says softly. "You must be starving." I hear a tray hit a table of some sort "some for Sadie, too."

With my eyes closed I can't tell what happened but Daryl comments to her "Watch out, I got stitches." and she sighs softly in return.

"You need to know something." I hear her tell him "You did more for my little girl today than her own daddy ever did in his whole life." her voice quivers a little when she says it.

"I didn't do anything Rick or Shane wouldn't have done." he tells her.

"I know." she responds "You're every bit as good as them. Every bit." She says.

I hear the door move again but Daryl stops her "I didn't do it alone neither"

I hear the door move again but Daryl stops her "I didn't do it alone neither"

"I know" she says again, now leaving the room and shutting the door.

"She's right, you know..." I say after a few moments go by in silence in the room.

"What?" He quips back.

"You're just as good as they are.." I get out quietly. He doesn't respond though and I add on "maybe even better." a small smile crosses my lips, not caring if he see's it or not.

"Shut up" he tells me before I hear him turn away and work at the food Carol left for us.


	19. Chapter 19: Tearful Night

Daryl & I are told to stay off our feet and rest. They offer me the RV to rest in and I accept to use it for just a few nights. I get stir crazy cooped up in a bed all day and wander out to the group to join them for dinner. After I finish eating, I ask Shane to stop by so I could talk to him about something. He nods and I leave, waiting for him to finish. I keep myself busy reading an old book I found lying around. The door to the RV knocks and I tell him to come in "Oh, it's you" I say when I see Daryl.

"Expecting someone else?" he asks as he walks up to the 2 steps.

I hum back "mmmm.. no. What's up?" I ask quickly.

He shakes his head "bout' what happened the other day.. with Merle and all" he trails off.

"What about it?" I question, not sure what he wants.

"Let's not mention that to nobody, kay?" He tells and asks me at the same time.

I tilt my head "why would I?" I ask curious to why he thinks I'd do that.

He shrugs "you seem all buddy, buddy with Shane and Rick." he thinks out loud "maybe you'd tell em I was crazy or somethin, when really it's no one's damn business." He gets defensive.

"I wasn't planning on saying anything" I inform him "besides, I was seeing things too.." I trail off, reminding him he wasn't the only one the heat and loss of blood was getting too.

"Ya, right." he nods "And you wouldn't want no one findin' out about Joanna Beth now, would ya?" He threatens to tell others.

Anger runs through me, threatening to tell everyone about someone he doesn't even know about "There you go, always thinkin' about yourself!" I yell loudly to him.

"Thinkin' bout myself?" He asks stepping a bit closer "you kiddin' princess?" His eyes darker than before "I've done nothin' but watch your back since you got here and I'm thinkin' bout myself? Pffft" he turns and leaves the RV, slamming the door behind him. My mouth hangs open with awe as he leaves me there speechless.

I try and keep reading but I'm to frustrated and end up staying on the same page for awhile, getting distracted with my thoughts each time I try to start it over again. I put the book down when the door knocks and I answer it this time, not wanting to let Daryl in if it's him "It's me" Shane says lowly.

I open the door and move aside allowing him to come in "Hi" I breath out when he's squeezing past me, his hand brushing against my waist, the smell

of booze coming from his breath.

He sits at the table, placing his knife on top of it and looks at me blankly "so.." he says to me with a blank stare "what'd you need?" he asks.

"I uhh.. wanted to talk to you about something" I say, not sure how to bring it up. His eyes open wider, waiting for me to continue "are you still planning on leaving?" I ask him. He shrugs in response, not giving me a clear answer "ohh..well if you were I was hoping you'd reconsider" I get out.

"Why?" He asks, his eyes changing.

"Well, I just think we need you here.." I say to him.

He stands up and comes closer "we

He stands up and comes closer "we.. or you?" he leans down to kiss me.

"Shane, stop, not now." I try and push him off of me with a smile and a laugh. I'm flattered but not in the mood. He continues to try and kiss me, pushing me against the wall "Shane.. come on" I argue, still pushing st him to get away.

"What? you wanna invite me in here and just talk? Come on now Darlin'. A man's got needs" he says before trying again, moving his hand to my shirt.

He manages to get under it and fondles me as I try and push him away "Shane, please" I spit, worried he's not listening. I fight some more which only makes him more forceful. He pushes me towards the bed and falls down on top of me, his hand making it's way towards my pants.

"Now don't fight, you've been sending me signals since you got with us" he mutters in a heavy breath.

"Stop! You're drunk!" I push his hand away but he just pushes it further down "knock it off!" I manage to get a leg up and kick him in the groin.

"Damn it, Sadie!" He grunts, holding my hands and keeping me on the bed. I think I hear a knock on the door and I try to call out but Shane covers my mouth quickly "beat it!" He shouts to whoever it is. Whoever was there doesn't knock again and Shane continues to cover my mouth, trying to get my pants off. I kick at the wall, trying to get anyone's attention so he'll stop. As I kick I try to wriggle my hands free form his grip, but not manage to get one out, I use to push at him to get off of me. The door to the RV opens in a rush and Shane jumps off of me "I said, beat it!" He growls looking away from me. I move around Shane pulling at my shirt and past Daryl, grabbing my bag at the door and running out from the camp. "Damn it Dixon, can't you catch a clue" I hear Shane mutter to him before I'm gone into the night.

I make my way to a small pond area we came across right off the farm the other day when we were searching for Sophia. I figured this is a good a place as any to sit and do what I want to do. I ruffle through the backpack, not finding it. I dump the contents out next to me, needing to find it, disdain and hate setting in fast. The rusty blade stands out among the contents once out on the ground and I take a hold of it. I roll up my sleeves so I can release my pain "don't do it" Daryl's voice comes out from behind me.

I exhale deeply "go away, Daryl."

"Don't do it Sadie-Mae." He repeats.

I turn my head around and see his shadow in the night, his bow and arrow strung and ready to shoot "what are you gonna do, shoot me?" I mock before turning my head back to the small flooding water "leave me alone, please?" I ask softly.

But he doesn't, instead he sits next to me on the damp ground and places the bow at his feet "not until you gimme that" he nods his head down at the blade resting in my hands.

I shake my head no, changing the subject "what were you doing there?" I raise an eyebrow curious. He left so angry I didn't think I'd see him till morning.

He scratches at the back of his neck, not looking at me when he answers "I uhh.. I'm not very good at this.." He tries to say.

"At what?" I ask confused.

"Apologizin'" he spits out quickly looking at me. I open my eyes wide, not what I was expecting and he looks down at the ground again "it's none of my damn business neither who that girl is" he shakes his head.

"Thanks and it's alright. I'm just not used to hearing her name anymore. So I get really guarded when I do" I say out loud not really sure why I told him that.

"You wanna talk bout it?" He asks, I'm assuming trying to comfort me.

I shake my head and tell him "no" and he just silently let's it slip away in the night. "But thank you for apologizing. Your timing couldn't have been more perfect"

"He do somethin' to you?" His voice is low when he asks this. From where my eyes are looking I can see his hands clench in the dirt.

"Nothin' I couldn't handle" I say back. I try to hold back the overwhelming feeling of crying then. Realization setting in with what almost happened. I couldn't handle it, not really, he was too strong for me to fight back. A sob comes out of me and I use my hand to cover my mouth, to prevent more from escaping.

It's too late though "Sadie-Mae?" He says my name in a gentle, soft way and everything releases. I turn my head quickly into his shoulder, his shirt soaking my tears. One hand rests on his chest as the other clenches at the shirt in the back. When I feel him tense up from my touch I go to pull away, not wanting to make him uncomfortable "you're iight" he says as I do, putting one hand on my back to let me know I can stay and cry on his shoulder. And that's exactly what I do.


	20. Chapter 20: Promises and Secrets

Something sharp against my rib wakes me up and I open my eyes. Everything is dark but I feel something soft that my head rests on. I lift my head slightly and see Daryl, staring off into the night "How long have I been a sleep?" I question, sitting up and off of him.

He shrugs and moves a little under my weight "couple hours."

"Wow. I'm sorry, I didn't even realize I was that tired.. you could've woken me." I tell him sitting up from him.

"Naw, I kept watch, safer here then anywhere else I spose'" he tells me. "we should get back to camp before the others wake for the day though, don't need no one gettin' anymore ideas like they did at the CDC" he laughs softly standing up and offering me a hand.

"I'll be right there" I say back to him.

He nods his head, allowing me to stay and begins to walk back "Hey Sadie-Mae" he calls out my name and I turn to look at him "promise me somethin'" he pauses. I look at him not moving, letting him know I'm listening "promise me you won't use that ever again?" his head nods down a bit. I don't need him to be more specific because I know what he's referring too. I nod my head with a small smile, tossing it into the pool of water in front of me. He smiles back with a nod of his own and moves back to camp. I sit there, thinking about why I do what I do, and why I agreed to not do it again. I've stopped for extended periods of times, getting help I needed, but the desire to hurt myself is always there, and sooner or later I always give in.

After cleaning myself off I meet out front for breakfast. Carol made eggs and she's passing them around for everyone. I sit on a log, picking at the plate. Shane appears out of a tent and I look at him. His eyes focused on me as he walks in my direction. My heart beats faster, not wanting to talk to him at all as he gets closer "room for one more" a male asks and I look up towards the sun to see Daryl standing over me.

I nod my head and scoot over for him to sit on the log. He sits next to me, his feet outstretched on the other side as we are shoulder to shoulder while we eat. Shane reaches me a few moments later, ignoring Daryl "can I talk to you?" He asks in a low voice.

"Beat it!" Daryl spits out to him, looking up and behind from how his body is positioned, shooting daggers at him.

Shane exhales quickly, obviously annoyed at him and just looks at me for my own response "can't you catch a clue.." I mimic the words I heard him say last night "beat it" I add on before I stuff some eggs in my mouth. I laugh a little as he huffs away from me angrily "thanks" I say to Daryl who just nudges me with his elbow and a chuckle of his own.

"Um, guys." Glenn stands at in front of everyone, trying to get all of our attention "So..." he hesitates for a moment as we all wait "The barn is full of walkers."

"What?!" A few of us spit out

"What?!" A few of us spit out. Most of the men stand up abruptly and head towards the barn we haven't been near since we arrived. Dale goes over next to Glenn and says something to him I didn't catch.

"Lori?" I walk over to her, wondering if she knew about this. If Rick knew, he would surely tell his wife. She shakes her head in disbelief and begins the walk to the barn with the rest of us.

When we get there Shane is just stepping away from the door, A walker at the gate of the barn growling.

"You cannot tell me you're all right with this." Shane struts over to Rick.

Rick answers "No I'm not, but we're guests here. This isn't our land."

"This is our lives!" Shane yells back at him.

Glenn tries to hush him, worried the owner will find us "Lower your voice."

Andrea steps in "We can't just sweep this under the rug."

I stay to the side near Carl and Lori, the same aggression from last night starting to emerge out of Shane. "It ain't right." he says back, trying to stay calm. "Not remotely." He walks a few steps "Okay, we've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right or we've just got to go. Now we have been talking about fort Benning for a long time."

"We can't go." Rick disagrees with the plan he's saying.

"Why, Rick? Why?" Shane begs the question.

Carol steps up a little "Because my daughter is still out there."

Shane puts his hands to his face, wiping something off "Okay. Okay, I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility."

"We're not leaving Sophia behind!" I yell out from where I am.

Daryl adds on "I'm close to finding this girl. I just found her damn doll two days ago."

Whatever Shane was trying to hold down before, comes out now "You found her doll, Daryl. That's what you did. You found a doll."

Daryl steps a bit closer to the angry man "You don't know what the hell you're talking about."

Shane begins to go off spouting statistics "I'm just saying what needs to be said. You get a good lead, it's in the first 48 hours."

All the while Rick trying to calm him down, to get him to stop saying what he's saying "Shane, stop."

"Let me tell you something else, man. If she was alive out there and saw you coming all meth'd out with your buck knife" his attention back on Daryl now "and geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction."

Daryl tries to attack him, his own angry coming to the surface and a lot of us step in to break them a part. "Back off!" I push at Shane once they are separated and a few of them are in the middle.

"Back off!" I push at Shane once they are separated and a few of them are in the middle

"Keep your hands off me." He spits with evil in his eyes to me.

"Now just let me talk to Hershel. Let me figure it out." Rick yells to him as he begins to walk away.

"What are you gonna figure out?!" He asks in a huff.

Rick responds just as loud "If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land." He repeats again, trying to let everyone know we can't just do what we want here.

Dale steps closer to Rick "Hershel sees those things in there as people... Sick people... His wife, his stepson." he explains.

All our eyes go to him and Rick asks the question we are all wondering "You knew?"

Dale explains "yesterday I talked to Hershel."

Shane spits at him "And you waited the night?"

Dale doesn't hesitate or flinch "I thought we could survive one more night. We did. I was waiting till this morning to say something. But Glenn wanted to be the one." He points to the young man next to him.

"The man is crazy, Rick, if Hershel thinks those things are alive or not." Shane yells. The barn door begins to rattle, all of the yelling drawing their attention to it. The chains shake with the door and we freeze, staring at what could come out at any moment.

We make our way back to our campsite and Rick catches up to me on the way "Can I ask you a favor?" He asks me.

"Sure" I say to him.

He stops walking so I do too, waiting to hear what it is he wants "can you be there with me when I talk with Hershel?" He asks me, covering his eyes with his hand as he looks to me for an answer. I'm startled, not sure why he wants me to go with him, and ask him just that. He puts a hand on his waist when he answers me "You have a calm presence about you." he says with a fake smile.

I chuckle knowing that's not what he really wants me there for "Come on, really" I push further

"Because you don't kill the dead, but you're okay with them being killed." He explains. I nod once, now understanding. He wants me to try and reason with him, to show him it's okay to still be alive in this world but not do the dirty work. I think about it for a moment and go to shake my head no, to tell him I can't do it but he puts a hand on my shoulder and stops me "I'm not blind Sadie, I know you don't carry any weapons. I know there's something about killing them that you just can't deal with." He says. "And that's fine!" He adds "I think having you there will help him understand." I open my mouth to respond but nothing comes out. He removes his hand from me "just think about it" he says close to my ear before walking away, leaving me alone in the field. So I stand there, staring at the barn as the dead pound on the door, trying to decide what to do.


	21. Chapter 2: An Unexpected Find

I follow Rick up the porch steps as he knocks on the door. Hershel tells us to come in so we do so quietly. "A little light reading for lunch?" Rick asks as we see Hershel reading the bible as he eats off his plate.

Rick puts his hands on the chair in front of him and I stand with mine in my jean pockets. "Been working so hard lately, I get my studying where I can." Hershel responds.

"You know we can help you out with your work." Rick offers.

"It's my field to tend." Hershel says with force.

Rick pauses and looks at me, I barely nod him on to continue eyeing him with caution "we found the barn."

Hershel answers without looking up "Leave it be."

"Well, I'd like to talk about it, but either way, your barn, your farm, your say." He says, letting him know we understand his rules here.

"I don't want to talk about the barn. I don't want to debate." Hershel says back.

I step in then "Not a debate Hershel, a discussion."

Hershel stares at him, chewing the rest of the food in his mouth. He wipes it with a napkin and calmly says "I need you and your group gone by the end of the week."

Rick breaths for a moment "I talked to Dale. You and I have our differences with the way we look at the walkers. Those people, they may be dead, they may be alive. But my people, us, we are alive right now, right here, right in front of you. You send us out there and that could change."

I wait where I am, not feeling the need to jump in yet "I've given you safe harbor. My conscience is clear." Hershel responds.

Rick sits down at the chair now and I step up behind it. "This farm.. This farm is special. You've been shielded from what's been going on out there. Dale said you saw everything happen on the news. Well, it's been. It's been a long time since the cameras stopped rolling." Hershel takes his plate off the table and moves to the kitchen while Rick follows him in "The first time I saw a walker it was just half a body snapping at me from the ground. My inclination wasn't to kill it. But what the world is out there isn't what you saw on TV. It is much much worse and it changes you. Either into one of them or something a lot less than the person you were. Please do not" he pauses for only a second "do not send us out there again." I stay where I am behind the chair, still able to see everything that's going on, still able to hear it. "My wife's pregnant." Rick tells him. He then looks at me and I force the emotion of shock of my face with a small smile. "That's either a gift here or a death sentence out there." He tells Hershel. "If we were to stay we could help you with the work, with securing this place. We can survive together."

"Rick, I'm telling you we can't." Hershel says with a heavy look on his face.

" Hershel says with a heavy look on his face

"You think about what you're doing." Rick argues.

"I've thought about it." Hershel says back.

"Think about it." Rick says again

Hershel yells back this time "I've thought about it."

"Think about it again." Rick says to him. His body language intense from where I am standing "We can't go out there." And he leaves the house from a side door.

I walk into the kitchen and stop right at the doorway "I know you don't know me.." I pause "or any of us really, but we're not bad people.." I say.

"That's not the reason" Hershel says back to me.

I nod my head "I know." I respond with a small smile "have you killed one of them things before?" I ask him out right. He looks at me, baffled I'd ask the question. When he doesn't answer I keep going "Cause I haven't.. I've been with Rick from the start and I haven't once had to hurt one of those things."

"They aren't things" he answers me now.

"They aren't people Hershel" I respond "what happens when you get too many of them in that barn, huh? You gonna' move em in here, put em up in your bedroom?" I push softly. "They don't sleep, they don't stop, they just eat.. They aren't what they used to be." I try to explain.

He sighs "So we just kill them all?"

"No" I respond with a small smile "you don't kill them. You have a clear conscious now, but what happens when one of those things bites your daughter cause you didn't let someone take it down? Would it be clear then?" He looks at me, his eyes changing at the mention of his daughter being bitten "I'm sorry." I say back not meaning to upset him "just remember, you don't have to be the bad guy here. Let us help you." And with that, I leave the house the way I came from and go back to the camp.

T-dog and Andrea come up from the barn a little while later "do you know what's going on?" He asks

"Where is everyone?" Andrea asks next. I sit on the porch with Hershel's daughter Beth and Carl, playing a game of chess.

"You haven't seen Rick?" Glenn asks getting up off the ladder.

"He went off with Hershel. We were supposed to leave a couple hours ago." Andrea explains.

"Yeah you were." Daryl arrives now "What the hell?"

Carol is next to him "Rick told us he was going out."

Daryl retorts annoyed "Damn it. Isn't anybody taking this seriously? We got us a damn trail." He turns "Oh, here we go." he points out towards Shane who's walking up with all the guns. I stand where I was sitting before, nervous. "What's all this?" He asks.

"You with me, man?" Shane holds out a gun for him. Daryl accepts it with a yeah. letting their argument from earlier go. "Time to grow up." He says to everyone there "You already got yours?" He asks Andrea.

" He says to everyone there "You already got yours?" He asks Andrea

"Yeah. Where's Dale?" She asks looking back to where he came from.

"He's on his way." Shane assures her.

"Thought we couldn't carry." T-dog asks accepting a hand gun.

"We can and we have to. Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe. But now we know it ain't." He turns towards Glenn "How about you, man? You gonna protect yours?" Glenn accepts and looks to Maggie. "That's it. Can you shoot?" He asks willing to give her one as well.

She doesn't take it "Can you stop? You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight." Her tone his serious and she stands firm on her feet.

"We have to stay, Shane." Carl walks down the steps with worry in his little face.

"What is this? We ain't going anywhere, okay?" Lori comes rushing out of the house.

"Now look, Hershel, he's just gotta understand. Okay?" Shane speaks "He... Well, he's gonna have to. Now we need to find Sophia. Am I right? Huh?" Shane looks at the little boy "Now I want you to take this. You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes. You know how. Go on, take the gun and do it." He tries to hand Carl a small gun and memories flash through me in spurts.

"Rick said no guns." I yell out from where I am, leaning over the table now knocking down the chess pieces.

"This is not your call. This is not your decision to make." Lori grits through her teeth to Shane.

"Oh shit." Daryl calls out. We all look to see what he's cussing about. From a distance we see Jimmy clapping out towards two walkers. One being held by Hershel and the other Rick.

"What is that? What is that?" Shane begins to dart towards the men while yelling. A few of us call out to him but he doesn't stop running, we all follow behind him. "What the hell are you doing?" Shane spits with rage as he gets closer to his friend.

"What the hell are you doing?" Shane spits with rage as he gets closer to his friend

"Shane, just back off." Rick demands, trying to keep control of the walker he's holding on a leash.

Hershel also tries to stay focused but quickly becomes aware of everyone carrying "Why do your people have guns?"

Shane laughs something wicked "Are you kidding me? You see? You see what they're holding onto?" He asks his friend.

"I see who I'm holding onto." Hershel responds to him, believing it to be an old friend.

"No, man, you don't." Shane disagrees with him.

"Shane, just let us do this and then we can talk." Rick tries to talk to him while moving forward.

"What you want to talk about, Rick? These things ain't sick. They're not people. They're dead. Ain't gonna feel nothing for them 'cause all they do, they kill! These things right here, they're the things that killed Amy. They killed Otis. They're gonna kill all of us." He tries to rile everyone up standing in front of the group.

Rick shouts "Shane, shut up!"

"Hey, Hershel man, let me ask you something. Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?" Shane asks, pulling his gun out and shooting it at the walker. I freeze where I am and turn from the shots.

Rick shouts as the rest of us stare and gasp "No! Stop it!"

Shane yells some more "That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive, could they just take that?!" His eyes wild. "Why is it still coming?" He shoots it two more times. Powder emitting into the air. "That's its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming?" He gets off more rounds.

"Shane, enough." Rick demands.

"Yeah, you're right, man. That is enough." Shane walks closer to the walker and I try to help Lori block Carl from seeing him shoot it in the head. Silence is what follows, everyone shocked by his actions. He speaks more though, still riled up "Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone! Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us. Enough. Rick, it ain't like it was before! Now if y'all want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it! I'm talking about fighting right here, right now." He moves towards the barn.

"Stop, Shane!" I yell out as some others do to try and discourage him.

Rick yells down at Hershel, whose on his knees in dismay "Take the snare pole. Hershel, take the snare pole. Hershel, listen to me, man, please. Take it now. Hershel! Take it!

"No, Shane. Do not do this, brother. Wait!" Rick calls, still holding onto the pole.

I go to move to try and stop Shane but Daryl holds out his hand to stop me. He shakes his head and I know. I know it's too dangerous.

"Don't do it! Rick!" Lori yells to her husband afraid.

"Please!" Rick begs of him.

Shane gets the lock undone and starts to bang on the door "Come on. Come on, we're out here."

"This is not the way! Please!" Rick still begs from where he is standing, holding the leashed walker.

The dead begin to pile out of the barn at full force, eager to attack the living. Shane takes the first one down with a head shot. Andrea soon to get next to him to take a stand. T-dog follows as does Daryl, shooting them all down. Everyone holding a weapon starts to shoot, and I stand off to the side with Carol, watching in horror as they fall finally dead to the dirt.

All of them dead now, small sobs coming out of Hershel and his family as they yearn for the ones they just lost. Another growl comes out of the barn and everyone looks to it, waiting for the last one to make it's way into the sun for execution.

Another growl comes out of the barn and everyone looks to it, waiting for the last one to make it's way into the sun for execution

"Sophia?" Carol recognizes her daughter from the distance and I try to stop her from running. She brushes past me and I run to follow "Sophia!" She calls out to her. Daryl grabs her with one arm and holds her back as we all stare at the little girl whose blinded momentarily by the light. "Oh no. Sophia. No." Carol wails on the ground, reaching her arms out wanting to hold her just one more time.

"Don't watch" I tell her as Rick raises his gun to stop her from moving any further towards us. She covers herself into Daryl's chest. I watch as the bullet goes through her skull, her body hitting the ground in one swift movement. Tears stream my face as she just lies there motionless, never to move again.


	22. Chapter 22: Contained Feelings

"Hey, can you go talk to Daryl?" Lori comes up to me the next afternoon. "He's pretty angry, I don't know what he's planning on doing." Carol is along side of her, holding onto her arms, still reeling from what happened with her daughter earlier.

"Why me?" I ask, shading the sun from my eyes to see them clearly.

She shrugs and Carol answers "We've just seen you two together lately, maybe he'll talk with you."

"Sure" I say with a smile not caring for them to explain any further. "I'll go find him after dinner" I tell them. Lori smiles back with gratitude and they both leave me be.

Daryl doesn't come to dinner with the rest of us in the house that night, not surprisingly enough. I make my way out to where he moved his tent, farther from the group. I walk over there in the dark, a lantern from his tent guiding my way. "Daryl" I call out to him but he doesn't answer.

I walk along the wire of dead animals he has strung up when he comes up from behind "What are yew doin'?"

"They are worried about you." I respond turning around.

"Ain't you a peach?" He mocks with an eye roll.

"You've earned your place here Daryl, more so than anyone if you ask me. Don't pull away now." I try and talk to him, to get him to open up.

"I mean just go! I don't want you here!" He snarls at me with a hand out in the direction towards the farm. I stay standing where I am, not deterred by his aggression "Yer a real piece of work, princess. What, are ya gonna make this about my daddy or some crap like that? Pfft!" He continues to rattle through his anger "Man, you know Jack. You're afraid. You're afraid 'cause you're all alone. Yew got no boyfriend, no family. Yew don't know what to do with yourself. You ain't my problem! And I sure as hell ain't your problem." He spits, getting closer to my face. I jerk away, unsure if he was going to hit me or not but he just steps back and stares at me.

I jerk away, unsure if he was going to hit me or not but he just steps back and stares at me

"Ok, Daryl" I whisper, taking a step back and leaving him be.

The next afternoon Lori pulls me in from outside "Can I talk to you?" She asks in a whisper at the door. She hushes me inside and I wait for her to elaborate "Can you go talk with Beth? She's going through something right now that I can't.. that we can't relate too" she looks away for a moment but focus' back on me soon.

"What are you talking about?" I ask her not sure I follow what she means. I talked with Daryl and that was a bust, I don't know if whatever is going on with Beth is something I can help with either.

She sighs "come with me." I follow her into a bedroom where Beth is lying on a bed. Hershel and Maggie are in the room with sad eyes. I look over to the young girl and see her arm bandaged up. Hershel comes over to Lori and I now.

"I saw the scars when I fixed your arm.. I'm sorry" Hershel looks away from me and at his youngest with freight in his eyes.

I return in a whisper "it's okay" and go over to Beth's bedside. The three other people in the room stare at us and I cough "you uhh.. mind giving us some time?" I ask. They shuffle out of the room quickly, closing the door behind them.

They shuffle out of the room quickly, closing the door behind them

"I don't know why they want you to talk to me. I'm fine" She gets out in a country accent much like her sisters, not meeting my eye.

"I know that" I respond back.

She eyes me then, not sure why I'm agreeing with her "then why are you here?" Her eyes stay on me.

"They asked me to come. It's your fathers farm" I shrug trying to explain. Beth made a choice, I can see that. It's not up to me to talk her out of doing it again, it's not like that really matters.

I sit in a chair across from the bed and let the silence embrace the room "so, you tried to kill yourself too?" she asks, sitting up against the headboard, giving me her full attention.

"I did" I respond, not really wanting to share my whole life story with this young stranger, but still wanting to help if I could.

"When was the last time?" She asks me.

I puff out "Before we came to the farm. Maybe three or four days before that" I tell her trying to remember and she nods "but honestly.." I scoot the chair closer to her bed "I was about to do it again just 2 nights ago."

She looks down at my arms but they are covered with a shirt. I roll my sleeve up so she can see and her eyes are bit more wider now "there's no fresh cuts" she takes note.

"well I didn't do it. I said about to" I smirk back then rolling my sleeves back down.

"Why didn't you?" She asks searching for an answer.

I want to be careful with what I say, I want to help her. She shouldn't be cursed with the burden and desire to cut for the rest of her life. I exhale slowly before answering "Because it doesn't really help.. not in the greater scheme of things. I've been struggling with this for years Beth, it doesn't get better." I'm honest with her.

"But it feels better, in the moment, doesn't it?" She asks curiously.

I shake my head "for a little.. but is that why you did it? To feel better?" I question her.

She shakes her head no "no, I just didn't want to end up like everyone else down there" she looks out her window "I wanted to have control of the way I died" she explains.

"And did you feel like you were in control?" I ask her.

She thinks about it for a moment before answering "No..." she pauses "I was worried about my sister, my father.. what this would do to them. I was scared" She confides in me.

"Then I think our discussion is done" I smile at her with a wink.

I go to leave the room but she stops me "Hey Sadie.." I turn to her to see what she wants "thank you" she stands up out of the bed and gives me a hug. I hug her back with a small squeeze and leave the room.

I go down the stairs to Hershel, Maggie, and Lori who are waiting for me "you don't have to worry.. she'll be just fine" I tell them. Maggie rushes to me and also gives me a hug.

"Thank you!" She says with a big toothy smile. Hershel nods in my direction before he leaves to go up the stairs back to his daughters side.

The 3 of us go outside of the house and sit on the wrap around porch, enjoying the cool air. Andrea comes running up to the farm "I heard. Is she alright?"

"She would be if you had stayed with her." Maggie growls to the blonde.

"Where were you?" I ask now that I'm filled in on the situation. She was suppose to be watching her, making sure she didn't do exactly what she did.

Andrea looks at me only for a moment and turns her attention back to Maggie "How bad is she?"

"It wasn't deep." Lori tells her.

"She wants to live. She made her decision." Andrea sort of smiles and goes to walk past Maggie.

Maggie blocks her from going forward "She tried to kill herself."

"No, she didn't." Andrea retorts.

"My father had to stitch her wrist!" Maggie snarls getting more angry with her.

"She'll live." Andrea again tries to go past.

Maggie denies her "stay away from her. From both of us." and before she turns away she adds on "Don't you dare step foot inside this house again." She leaves us standing there, going back in to be with her sister.

" She leaves us standing there, going back in to be with her sister

The next day comes quickly, and we meet to discuss our new visitor. While Rick and Glenn went searching for Hershel after he left the farm, after the barn, they came across a young boy whose group targeted them and attacked.

"So, what are you gonna do?" I ask Rick as we all meet up.

Lori looks up to him "We'd all feel better if we knew the plan."

"Is there a plan?" Andrea asks.

"We gonna keep him here?" Glenn asks.

Rick looks ups and responds to us all "We'll know soon enough."

Daryl stops at the edge of the group and informs us what information he got from him "Boy there's got a gang, 30 men. They have heavy artillery and they ain't looking to make friends. They roll through here, our boys are dead. And our women, they're gonna- They're gonna wish they were." He looks at Lori, Andrea, Carol, and finally me.

"What did you do?" Carol asks him, his bloody hand hanging onto his bow.

He snarls "had a little chat" and walks away.


	23. Chapter 23: A Touch Choice

Later that day we all meet inside the house to discuss the situation of Randall

Later that day we all meet inside the house to discuss the situation of Randall. If he is going to live or die. Dale came to me earlier to talk and it was easy for him to get me on his side, to try and save a human life. We all sit or stand awkwardly, waiting for the conversation to begin.

"So how do we do this?" I ask, standing next to Dale from a door way.

Andrea questions "just take a vote? Does it have to be unanimous?" she asks.

"How about majority rules?" Lori offers a suggestion.

Rick pauses everyone's thoughts "Well, let's- let's just see where everybody stands, then we can talk through the options."

Shane rests against the fire place "Well, where I sit, there's only one way to move forward."

"Killing him, right? I mean, why even bother to even take a vote? It's clear which way the wind's blowing" Dale speaks up, aggravated as hell about the situation.

"Well, if people believe we should spare him, I wanna know." Rick assures him he's listening.

"Well, I can tell you it's a small group" Dale adds on "Maybe just me, Sadie and Glenn." he looks at me and then him.

Glenn eyes us both with a sorry look before responding "Look, I- I think you're pretty much right about everything, all the time, but this.."

Dale interrupts him "They've got you scared."

Glenn argues his own thoughts "He's not one of us. And we've- we've lost too many people already."

"How about you? Do you agree with this?" Dale looks to me for a changing response.

I shake my head no "No, I think he's a person, we shouldn't kill him." I tell them all.

"Couldn't we continue keeping him prisoner?" Maggie asks.

"Just another mouth to feed." Daryl pipes in.

"It may be a lean winter." Hershel comments from where he is sitting.

"We could ration better." Lori offers.

I offer another idea "Well, he could be an asset."

"Give him a chance to prove himself." Dale adds on to my comment.

"Put him to work?" Glenn asks, mulling over the idea.

Rick veto's it instantly "we're not letting him walk around."

Maggie jumps in with a suggestion "We could put an escort on him." She looks around to see who agrees with her idea.

"Who wants to volunteer for that duty?" Shane rolls his eyes.

"I will. Sadie will" Dale offers. I nod my head agreeing to it.

"I don't think any of us should be walking around with this guy." Rick still denies the idea.

"He's right." Lori agrees. "I wouldn't feel safe unless he was tied up."

"We can't exactly put chains around his ankles, sentence him to hard labor." Andrea also adds on.

Shane gives a hypothetical scenario next "Look, say we let him join us, right? Maybe he's helpful, maybe he's nice. We let our guard down and maybe he runs off, brings back his 30 men."

"So the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime that he may never even attempt?" I spit out, fed up with the way everyone is thinking.

Dale continues off of what I said "If we do this, we're saying there's no hope. Rule of law is dead. There is no civilization." His head shakes at the horror.

"Oh, my God." Shane whispers out with another eye roll.

"Could you drive him further out? Leave him like you planned?" Hershel suggests.

"You barely came back this time. There are walkers. You could break down." Lori goes through all the possible negative outcomes of that.

"Y-you could get lost." Glenn adds.

Daryl adds another "or get ambushed."

"They're right. We should not put our own people at risk." Glenn mentions.

"If you go through with it, how would you do it? Would he suffer?" Patricia asks nervously from the back of the room.

Shane's the first one to speak up about it "we could hang him, right? Just snap his neck."

"I thought about that." Rick answers him "shooting may be more humane."

"And what about the body? Do we bury him?" T-dog asks.

Dale interrupts "Hold on, hold on! You're talking about this like it's already decided."

Daryl adds "You've been talking all day, going around in circles. You just wanna go around in circles again?"

I add on, looking to him "This is a young man's life, and it is worth more than a five-minute conversation!" Dale says.

Everyone stays quiet until Dale speaks up again "Is this what it's come to? We kill someone because we can't decide what else to do with him? You saved him and now look at us

Everyone stays quiet until Dale speaks up again "Is this what it's come to? We kill someone because we can't decide what else to do with him? You saved him and now look at us. He's been tortured. He's gonna be executed. How are we any better than those people that we're so afraid of?" he offers the idea up to everyone in the room, me nodding along with him.

"We all know what needs to be done." Shane's voice comes out through the silence.

"No, Dale is right." Rick argues "we can't leave any stone unturned here. We have a responsibility.."

He tries to go on but Andrea cuts him off "So what's the other solution? We haven't come up with a single viable option yet. I wish we could."

"So let's work on it!" Dale quickly says.

"Stop it. Just stop it." Carol yells out from her position against a door "I'm sick of everybody arguing and fighting. I didn't ask for this. You can't ask us to decide something like this." She now looks to Rick "Please decide- Either of you, both of you- But leave me out."

"Not speaking out or killing him yourself- There's no difference." Dale looks her in the eye while telling her that.

"All right, that's enough." Rick stops it from continuing. "Anybody who wants the floor before we make a final decision has the chance."

Everyone is quiet, putting their heads and eyes down, waiting for the decision to be made. Dale is the only one to speak up "You once said that we don't kill the living. Well, that was before the living tried to kill us. But don't you see? If we do this, the people that we were- The world that we knew is dead. And this new world is ugly. It's... Harsh. It's.." He trails off trying to find more ways to put it.

"it's survival of the fittest." I add on for him.

He nods looking at me before speaking again "and that's a world I don't wanna live in, and I don't- And I don't believe that any of you do. I can't. Please. Let's just do what's right." He stops, letting his word sink in "Isn't there anybody else who's gonna stand with us?"

He puts his arm on my shoulder and I nod, sticking to what I believe. A few moments pass before one person speaks again. "He's right." Andrea says "We should try to find another way."

"Anybody else?" Dale asks after more silence. When no one answers him Rick turns his body towards us, clear with the answer. "Are y'all gonna watch, too?" Dale asks, his eyes filling with water.

"No, they'll go hide their heads in their tents and try to forget that we're slaughtering a human being." I say bitterly.

"Well.." Dale adds on to my comment "I won't be a party to it." He goes to leave the house. He stops next to Daryl and puts his arm on his shoulder and says "This group is broken."

I go to leave as well, also stopping next to Daryl but I turn to the group to add on "yanno, killing someone isn't the hard part. Living with yourself afterwards is.." and I leave the room, hoping they change their mind knowing all to well about the darkness that will consume them if they go through with it.


	24. Chapter 24: Prisoner Blues

While Daryl, Rick & Shane take him to the barn I stay back with the others at the campsite. Everyone keeps to themselves, no side conversations being had. We all wait for it, wait for the sound of the bullet to come to our ears. Rick & Carl return to the camp but no sound pierced the air but crickets and cicadas. "We're keeping him in custody, for now." Rick says staring off into the night.

Andrea and I smile with relief why the others just stare at him confused "I'm gonna find Dale" She says in a hurry, getting up to look for him. Only a minute, maybe two go by before we hear a scream. We all dart upwards, worried and scared. "Where?" I shout out among other people yelling. I follow Rick and T-dog out of the camp and down the clearing "who is it?" I shout to them, not sure what's going on.

"Help! Over here! Help! Run!" Daryl screams as we run. Our pace quickens and we come to the spot where Dale lay dying, his insides showing.

"All right, just listen to my voice. Listen to me, all right?" Rick tries to calm the old man down as he pants and cries in pain "Just listen to me. Okay, hold on now. Get Hershel!" He yells loudly to whomever hasn't reached the area yet.

"He needs blood. We gotta operate now." I add on, sitting on his side near Andrea. She holds his hand, crying as he winces.

Rick continues to keep his attention "Hang on, Dale. Hang on. Listen to me. Come on- Okay, just listen to my voice. All right, please. Hershel! We need Hershel! Look at me. Dale, we're gonna help. We're here. Just hold on- hold on."

Hershel finally arrives after what felt like hours "What happened?" He asks.

"What can we do?" Glenn asks

Rick keeps his eyes on Dale "Dale, it's gonna be okay." he asks the farm owner "Can we move him?"

"He won't make the trip." Hershel responds standing. I move away from Dale then, knowing what he meant.

"You have to do the operation here." Rick nods. He looks up for a moment "Glenn, get back to the house.."

But Hershel cuts him off "Rick. No!" Hershel shakes his head, cluing him in on what he meant.

"Oh, God. He's suffering." Andrea cries out loudly. "Do something!" She demands in a panic.

"Oh, God." I mutter as Rick takes out his gun. He begins to point it down at Dale and I turn myself into Daryl's body, shielding it from view.

Daryl moves aside though, pushing me off of him but taking my hand. He moves a few steps and I follow, keeping my head turned and away from the awful scene. He takes the gun from Rick and kneels down. "sorry, brother" I hear him tell Dale. As he squeezes my hand, the sound goes off.

We hold a funeral for Dale that everyone attends

We hold a funeral for Dale that everyone attends. Rick uses his leadership to say a nice vigil for the man. Afterwards, we meet as a group to move everything closer to the farm. Hershel has decided to let us stay in the house. "It'll be tight, 14 people in one house." Rick says to the man as we pack things up.

"Don't worry about that. With the swamp hardening, the creek drying up..." He trails off.

"With 50 head of cattle on the property, we might as well be ringing a damn dinner bell." Maggie comments.

"She's right. We should've moved you in a while ago." Her father agrees.

Rick smiles a little before giving directions "All right, let's move the vehicles near each of the doors facing out toward the road. Just leave it there. We'll build a lookout in the windmill, another in the barn loft. That should give us sight lines both sides of the property."

He stops me and gives me a direction "you take the perimeter around the house. Keep track of everyone coming and going."

"What about standing guard?" T-dog asks him.

"I need you and Daryl on double duty." He tells him.

T-dog nods, running off "Gotcha."

"I'll stock the basement with food and water, enough that we can all survive there a few days if need be." Hershel says, bringing in a tub of supplies to the house.

"What about patrols?" Andrea comes up asking.

"Let's get this area locked down first." Rick explains "After that, Shane'll assign shifts while me and Daryl take Randall offsite and cut him loose." He tells those of us still around.

"We're back to that now?" Shane argues, annoyed at the change of plan. He eyes his friend cautiously.

Rick shakes his head "It was the right plan first time around. Poor execution." He explains the incident.

"That's a slight understatement" Shane mumbles back.

"You don't agree, but this what's happening. Swallow it- Move on." Rick tells his friend.

"You know that Dale's death and the prisoner- that's two separate things, right? You wanna take Daryl as your wing man, be my guest." Shane argues, still resting against the truck.

"Thank you." Rick tells back as he already walks towards the house.

Shane retorts "You got it."

As we walk to the house Rick talks to me "I'd like you to come along when we cut Randall lose." He says.

"Me?" I pause, not sure why he'd invite me to go. "I'll just get in the way" I shake my head.

He shakes his head back to me "You agreed with Dale through and through" He begins to tell me "This kid should see you before he goes, one of the people who wanted to save his life."

"I guess so" I hesitate.

Rick smiles at me "thanks" and walks into the house.

I spend some time getting space set up in the house for everyone to sleep comfortably. It's not heard when you consider it's the first time we've been behind walls in who knows how long. Later on, I meet with Rick and Daryl on the porch as they talk about our plan for Randall. " Take him out to Senoia- hour there, hour back, give or take. We may lose the light, but we'll be halfway home by then." He shows us the place on a map.

I lean over Daryl's shoulder too look and then go back towards the wall again "This little pain in the ass will be a distant memory." He grabs his bow off the ground. "Good riddance" and he swings it around his shoulder.

"Carol's putting together some provisions for him, enough to last a few days." Rick explains. He changes the subject, stepping closer to him "That thing you did last night.." he trails off, not wanting to say it.

"Ain't no reason you should do all the heavy lifting." He says to him. He looks to me after and I just softly look back.

Shane pulls up in a car and Rick asks us "So are you good with all this?"

I just simply nod my head but Daryl responds "I don't see you and I trading haymakers on the side of the road. Nobody'd win that fight." Shane gets out of the car and Daryl comments "I'm gonna take a piss." and heads off.

"Uh yea, me too" I dumbly say following him off the porch.

Daryl gives me a weird look after we move away and I chuckle embarrassed "sorry" and go to go back towards the house

"Hold up" he calls back and I stop and turn to wait for him to catch up to me "what you said yesterday bout' harder to live with it then do it.." he trails off "what'd you mean by that?" he bites his lower lip and his hair covering some of his eyes.

"I don't think it's somethin' you have to worry about" I turn my head and tell him that.

"what you mean?" he asks.

I smirk "Dale's death was merciful" I shake my head "you didn't plan out someone's death or do it for any other reason then to help him.."

He nods, no longer biting his lip "guess yer' right

He nods, no longer biting his lip "guess yer' right." I turn to leave and he calls back out to me "thanks!

Daryl, Rick and I pack up the truck getting ready to go "Only got so many arrows" T-dog comes over handing something to him.

Daryl looks it over before responding "Is that Dale's gun?"

"Yeah." T-dog answers.

He puts it in the back of his waistband "wish I knew where the hell mine is."

"Ready?" Rick asks us.

I nod and Daryl mutters out "yeah."

"I'll get the package." T-dog says walking off to get Randall.

T-dog runs back over to us with no one in tow "he's gone!" she shouts when he's half way. We all go running towards the barn to take a look.

"How long's he been gone?" I ask when we get get inside the barn.

"What's goin' on?" Lori comes down from the barn.

T-dog answers "It's hard to say."

Rick walks out of the barn telling us more of what he knows "The cuffs are still hooked. He must' slipped 'em."

"Is that possible?" Carol asks worriedly.

"It is if you've got nothing to lose." Andrea comments back.

"The door was secured from the outside." Hershel comments.

We all spread out around the barn, trying to figure out what happened. As the seconds tick by we can't find any other clues. That's when we hear someone calling out for Rick.

"Rick!" we all run to that side of the barn and see Shane coming out of the woods, his face bloodied.

Shane tells us all what happened, heavily panting "He's armed! He's got my gun!"

Rick asks him "Are you okay?"

Shane assures him he's fine "I'm fine. Little bastard just snuck up on me. He clocked me in the face." he wipes some blood with his arm.

"All right," Rick turns to everyone "Hershel, T-Dog, get everybody back in the house. Glenn, Daryl, come with us. T, I'm gonna need that gun." and with that we all begin to head back to the house.

As we go together, Carol tries to stop them "Just let him go. That was the plan, wasn't it, to just let him go?"

Rick responds "The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun."

Carol pleads "Don't go out there. Ya'll know what can happen."

"Get everybody back in the house." Rick looks to T-dog and I to follow through with the order. I nod and drag at Carol to get inside. "Lock all the doors and stay put!" He yells back.

"Let's go, back in the house. Okay. It's okay" I say to them all as we move to the farm.


	25. Chapter 25: A Fallen Home

We sit in the house together quietly. Some are biting their nails, others tapping their feet as we wait for answers, for results. As time passes us by, the sun goes down and it's now dark, the moon not very bright as it wanes. We wait and wait, nothing but silence seeping through the frame of the house. A shot goes off and everyone jerks at the noise. We don't say anything though, instead we wait to see if there are more to follow.

"I'm going after them." Andrea stands up to leave.

Lori discourages her "Don't, they could be anywhere."

"And if Randall come backs, we're gonna need you here." I confirm with Lori, sitting across from her on the couch. Andreas gotten better at shooting since her incident with Daryl.

Just then Daryl and Glenn come back into the house. Daryl looks around before asking "Rick and Shane ain't back?"

"No. We heard a shot." I tell him.

"Maybe they found Randall." Carol suggests, perking up just a bit.

Glenn answers her "we found him."

Lori asks "Is he back in the shed?" her eyes wide.

"He's a walker." Glenn informs us all.

Hershel asks a more important question "Did you find the walker that bit him?"

"No, the weird thing is, he wasn't bit." Daryl explains to eager eyes "His neck was broke."

Patricia adds to it, suggesting what happened to him "So he fought back."

Daryl shakes his head "The thing is, Shane and Randall's tracks were right on top of each other. And Shane ain't no tracker, so he didn't come up behind him. They were together." Daryl's voice is hesitant, probably knowing what he is saying sounds strange.

Everyone is confused at what he is saying, not sure what to make of it all. Lori goes over to him "would you please get back out there, find Rick and Shane and find out what on earth is going on?

Daryl obliges "You got it." and he leaves the room.

"So, we just wait here?" Andrea asks with her hands on her hips. I shake my head not having an answer and some others shrug.

Andrea rolls her eyes and heads out after Daryl and a few of us follow her out to the porch. I step up to the railing and gasp at what lies a head of us. A herd of walkers, larger then anything we've ever come across is heading our way. My mouth gapes open and fear runs through my body.

Hershel whispers out "Patricia, kill the lights."

"I'll get the guns." Andrea steps a side and moves to the house.

"Maybe they're just passing, like the herd on the highway." I suggest hopefully.

"Should we just go inside?" Glenn asks nervously.

"Not unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know about. A herd that size would rip the house down." Daryl offers up the grim scene for us to imagine.

Lori runs outside to us in a dizzy "Carl's gone."

"What?" Daryl sputters out looking to her.

"He... he was upstairs. I can't find him anymore." Lori is besides herself.

Glenn comments "maybe he's hiding."

"He's supposed to be upstairs. I'm not leaving without my boy." Lori panics further.

Carol steps up to her "We're not. We're gonna look again. We're gonna find him."

Andrea passes out the guns and I step behind Patricia to hide from her view. Rick may know I don't kill those things or carry but I don't think anyone else does. Glenn asks Maggie where she's going as she loads a shot gun but Daryl informs us all "I got the number, It's no use." he says, saying there are too many to take down.

Hershel loads his weapon "You can go if you want."

I ask from where I'm standing "You gonna take 'em all on?"

"We have guns. We have cars." He says back to me.

Andrea adds "Kill as many as we can, and we'll use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm."

"Are you serious?" Daryl asks.

"This is my farm. I'll die here." Hershel says matter of factually.

" Hershel says matter of factually

"All right. It's as good a night as any." Daryl comments before hoping off the porch.

I head back inside to help find Carl. We look through out the entire house but he is no where to be found. I go back outside and see the barn lit on fire "LORI!" I shout inside the barn to her. She rushes out of the house and her eyes light up "that's Rick.. That's Rick!" She spits running out onto the grass. "Stop, stop!" I grab on to her and Carol helps me.

"If he followed Rick, then he went that way!" She points towards the shed.

"But you'll lead them all right to him!" I still hold on to her, not letting her go and commit suicide by walker.

"That's my boy!" She shouts at me.

"You're gonna have to trust. If we find him, he's gonna need his mother." Carol looks to the women, mother to mother. "We've gotta go." She tells her.

"Get the others

"Get the others." I tell them both. Lori, Carol, Patricia and Beth run out of the house in a hurry. I try to call them over to where I am but T-dog and Andrea come up in their truck. As they pull up I begin to be surrounded by walkers, my shouting drawing more in. I back myself against a shed, waiting for certain death when Andrea shoots the one's closest around me. "ANDREA, LOOK OUT!" I shout as one comes up behind her. I hear a gunshot go off and she falls to ground. I can't tell if she's a live or not but I run, shouting back I'm sorry as I do.

I run as fast as I can, the wind keeping my tears at bay. The truck with the others is already too far to see me. There are walkers everywhere, and I don't know if I'll even be able to get off the farm. I keep pushing myself, not wanting to go out this way when the sound of a motorcycle draws my attention "Let's go Princess!" Daryl calls from the dirt path, shooting one with his gun as I get close.

I keep pushing myself, not wanting to go out this way when the sound of a motorcycle draws my attention "Let's go Princess!" Daryl calls from the dirt path, shooting one with his gun as I get close

"Thank you" I pant out with tears streaming down my face as he turns it around and drives off. "Thank you" I say again.

"Don't thank me yet" he calls back "We gotta get off this farm" He revs the engine and we speed off faster, swerving past the dead.


	26. Chapter 26: Together but Broken

We drive down the freeway and see a familiar blue truck up ahead. Daryl picks up the speed and they pull over when they notice who it is "Have you seen Rick, Carl?" Lori asks with pleading eyes and worry in her voice.

"Not yet" Daryl informs her and her head drops down. "But we'll find em'" he adds on seeing her despair. She nods, wiping away a tear and Daryl leads the way further down the road. A little bit more time passes by when we come across Glenn and Maggie. They jump behind T-dog in the truck after we reunite and we make our way towards the spot where we lost Sophia. We all know if they were to have made it out, they would go there.

As we pull closer I see 3 silhouettes and my heart flutters with relief "they're here" I tap him on the shoulder as we pull over.

Rick and Carl reunite with Lori. Hershel, Beth and Maggie come together as well. Rick shakes Daryl's hand "Where'd you find everyone?" He asks.

"Well, those guys' tail lights zigzagging all over the road..." Daryl hops off the bike "figured he had to be Asian, driving like that."

I chuckle at the joke and slap him lightly on the arm. "Good one" Glenn murmurs back with a small smile.

"Where's the rest of us?" Carol asks, standing in the road worried.

"We're the only ones who made it so far." Rick informs us all.

"Shane?" Lori asks and Rick shakes his head.

"Andrea?" I ask and another head shake. "She saved me, then I lost her." I tell them.

"We saw her go down." T-dog comments and I look away from the group.

Hershel asks about Patricia. Beth responds "they got her, too. Took her right in front of me. I was... I was holdin' onto her, daddy. She just..." The young girl pushes herself into her father while she cries. "What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?" She asks pulling away from her dad's arms momentarily.

"He was in the RV. It got overrun." Rick tells her sadly.

"You definitely saw Andrea?" I ask, hoping they were mistaking.

T-dog tells me again "there were walkers everywhere."

"Did you see her?" Carol pushes.

"I'm gonna go back." Daryl goes to get on his bike.

"Me too!" I go to follow.

Rick stops us "No"

"We can't just leave her." I protest. She saved me, and I have to at least try to find her.

Hershel comments "we don't even know if she's there."

"She isn't there." Rick says "She isn't. She's somewhere else or she's dead. There's no way to find her."

"So we're not even gonna look for her?" Carol asks appalled.

"We gotta keep moving. There have been walkers crawling all over here. I say head east. Stay off the main roads." Rick tells us a plan.

Daryl pulls out his bow "the bigger the road, the more walkers, mo assholes like this one." He steps closer to it "I got him." and an arrow pierces it's skull. We all get back into the cars, Daryl & I take the lead on the motorcycle off the littered freeway. We drive for miles before a horn from behind stops us on our journey.

Daryl turns off the engine to the bike and Rick comes over "you out?" He asks

"Running on fumes." Rick informs.

"We can't stay here." Maggie says.

Glenn adds on "we can't all fit in one car."

"We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning." Rick says.

"Spend the night here?" I ask, eyes wide looking around.

Carl rubs his arms "I'm freezing."

"We'll build a fire, yeah?" Lori says putting a jacket around his arms Rick gave to her.

Daryl directs the group "You go out looking for firewood, stay close. Only got so many arrows." He asks Rick "how you doing on ammo?"

"Not enough." He informs.

"We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out." Maggie says.

Her father scolds her "watch your mouth. Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick."

"All right, we'll set up a perimeter." Rick motions around the area we are in "In the morning, we'll find gas and some supplies. We'll keep pushing on."

"Glenn and I can go make a run now, try and scrounge up some gas." Maggie offers.

"No, we stay together. God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car." He denies the idea.

Glenn reminds him "Rick, we're stranded now."

"I know it looks bad, we've all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other." He stops before saying "I wasn't sure... I really wasn't... but we did. We're together. We keep it that way." He paces the concrete just a bit "We'll find shelter somewhere. There's gotta be a place.

"Rick, look around. Okay? There's walkers everywhere. They're migrating or something." Glenn doesn't agree with staying here for the night.

"There's gotta be a place not just where we hole up, but that we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together, build a life for each other. I know it's out there. We just have to find it." Rick keeps trying urge us all.

"Even if we do find a place and we think it's safe, we can never be sure. For how long?" I ask the hard question.

Maggie adds on for emphasis "Look what happened with the farm."

"We fooled ourselves into thinking that that was safe. We won't make that mistake again." Hershel tries to assure us all.

"We'll make camp tonight over there, get on the road at the break of day." Rick points over a wall with some running water off of it, a creek bed.

Beth gets closer to Rick, worried she asks "what if walkers come through, or another group like Randall's?"

Daryl remembered then, what happened when they found Randall "You know I found Randall, right? He had turned, but he wasn't bit."

Beth asks "How's that possible?"

"Rick, what the hell happened?" Lori asks

"Shane killed Randall. Just like he always wanted to." Daryl says.

"And then the herd got him?" Lori questions.

There's silence among us. Rick looks to the ground with something heavy weighing on him. "We're all infected." He finally gets out.

"What?" Daryl asks him through gritted teeth

"What?" Daryl asks him through gritted teeth.

"At the CDC," He explains "Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it."

Everyone is shocked, not knowing what to say back to him. Finally, Carol does "and you never said anything?"

"Would it have made a difference?" Rick argues back.

"You knew this whole time?" I ask him angrily!

He looks to him and asks "how could I have known for sure?" He looks to everyone else "you saw how crazy that mo..."

"That is not your call." Glenn interrupts him "Okay, when I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told, for the good of everyone."

"Well, I thought it best that people didn't know." Rick explains his actions that way. No one happy about it. We all stand their with no words to come back at. Rick storms towards the spot we are camping at for the night.

I sit by myself near the fire. Hershel and his family next to me and Rick and his across. I watch as Carol and Daryl whisper to one another on my side and try not to let the jealousy show on my face. I can't hear what anyone is talking about, so I try to keep my eyes focused on the flames. Something behind me rustles and I jump up, turning my back towards it "What was that?" I ask startled and shaken.

"Could be anything. Could be a raccoon, could be a possum." Daryl says trying to calm me down.

"Walker." Glenn adds.

"We need to leave. I mean what are we waiting for?" Carol comments.

"Which way?" Glenn asks holding a gun.

"It came from over there." Maggie says

"Back from where we came." Beth adds.

Rick looks to us "the last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark. We don't have the vehicles. No one's traveling on foot. Don't panic."

"I'm not... I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through. We need to move, now." Maggie asserts her thoughts.

Rick quickly denies them though, his voice high in a low tone "no one is going anywhere." Carol tells him to do something and he snaps "I am doing something! I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this. I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake!" Everyone is quiet, the news he just broke to us shocking us silent. "You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice. He was my friend, but he came after me." Carl's cries emit through out our fake camp and Lori holds him close as he sobs. "My hands are clean." He comments to everyone. More silence, which just seems to make him more angry "maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, but maybe... maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe... maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you... Why don't you go and find out yourself?" No one answers so he continues on his rampage "Send me a postcard. Go on, there's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get." Nobody moves for what feels like minutes. "No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight... you're staying. This isn't a democracy anymore." After he looks at each one of us in the eye he turns his back away, to keep an eye out from where the sound came from.

" After he looks at each one of us in the eye he turns his back away, to keep an eye out from where the sound came from

The next morning when we go to move I stay behind, wanting to give everybody their space. If we're going to be cramped together in the woods, or cars, or homes for who knows how long, walking may be the only time to spread a part from one another "Let's go Sadie-Mae." Daryl takes the flank of the group. I roll my eyes and begin moving. Everyone gets over a small hill, no one in sight. I turn and wait for him to catch up to me.

His eyes slit at the edges "everythin' okay?" He asks as he comes in front of me. I exhale out the breathe I've been holding in and lean into him. My hands embrace his cheeks and my lips meet his. I keep them there for a few moments before pulling away. I look into his blue eyes and I can't tell but it looks like he's blushing "what was that for?" He asks me taking a step back.

"a thank you for getting me off the farm.. saving my life" I explain sheepishly.

"Ya well.. let's not make that a habit" he snarls back walking past me, brushing my shoulder as he goes.

let's not make that a habit" he snarls back walking past me, brushing my shoulder as he goes

My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach at his reaction. I wasn't always the best at reading people but I thought there was something there. I curse myself silently as I move along with the group for letting myself feel again and letting the walls around me down. I shouldn't have been so foolish to believe he could care for a women like me, someone whose damaged beyond repair, someone who doesn't even want to fix herself.

THE END OF BOOK 1! Please stay tuned for the sequel to this story 3 please like if you liked this story 3!


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